Future Dwobbits
by IheartOakenshield193712
Summary: After a morning of dizzy spells and fainting, Bilbo and his dwarf king discover something that will change their lives forever. Warnings: contains mpreg!Thilbo, hormones, and humor.
1. Chapter 1

**I always read mpreg stories that have Thorin exceedingly hormonal. So I decided to try it. Please let me know what you think! It's my first mpreg story and maybe it'll just be a one or two shot.**

* * *

Thorin grumbled as he stood from the bed. "Why am I so tired?" he asked to no one in particular.

"Mhmm?" Bilbo hummed as he entered the room, having heard Thorin get out of bed.

"I mean, all I want to do is go back to sleep," Thorin mumbled tiredly and laid back on the bed. He felt the bed dip slightly and Bilbo's hands run through his hair. He opened one eye and Bilbo kissed his forehead. "You are not helping."

"Sorry," Bilbo replied. "Maybe it is best for you to stay here for the day. I'm sure the kingdom can last _one_ day without your presence."

"Perhaps you are right my love," Thorin said, closing his eyes again. "I shall tell Balin he will be in charge today." He let out a tired sigh and stood from the bed. He staggered a bit as the room began to spin.

"Thorin?" Bilbo asked, hurrying to his husband's side. "Are you alright?"

It took many minutes for Thorin to recover his balance and focus on the hobbit's worried expression. When he found his voice he said, "Do not worry, I am fine. I got up too quickly is all."

Bilbo nodded slowly, not entirely convinced Thorin was fine. Come on, 'fine' had many meanings; it could mean that Thorin wasn't feeling well or it could mean Thorin was feeling alright but wasn't entirely okay,_ or_ it could mean Thorin didn't want to bother him with whatever was wrong with him. And Bilbo chose the last option. Thorin was too stubborn to tell him what was wrong. And Bilbo had been so consumed in his thoughts, he barely noticed Thorin lean heavily on the door frame of their bedroom.

"Thorin?" Bilbo said, rushing to Thorin and putting his arm around him to support the dwarf in case he fell. "Honey? What's wrong? Are you feeling alright?"

A mumbled reply came from the dwarf and Bilbo could feel him slowly lose consciousness. Within a matter of seconds, Thorin slumped to the floor and Bilbo was as frightened as ever. He gently shook his husband who opened his eyes and looked tiredly at him. "Bil... bo..."

"Thorin-" Bilbo stopped mid-sentence as Thorin began to breath heavily. "What do need me to do?" he asked, seeing his husband get worse.

"Get... Balin..." Thorin mumbled as his eyes closed and he lost consciousness.

* * *

It took Bilbo approximately two minutes to find Balin, seeing how he ran so fast through the mountain. When he returned with Balin and Oin in tow, Thorin still sat in the doorway with his back against the wall, but he was awake. He saw Bilbo before he registered the two dwarfs and made a move to get up.

"No you don't, laddie," Balin said, pushing Thorin back against the wall. "Bilbo was right. You do not look well at all."

"I am fine," Thorin protested, trying to move again.

"You said that five minutes before you passed out," Bilbo pointed out and Thorin glared at him. "Do not give me that look. I was really scared when you fell and lost consciousness."

A look of guilt washed over Thorin's face as Bilbo closed his eyes in frustration. "I am sorry I frightened you. I do not know-"

"Enough apologies," Oin said. "Balin, Bilbo. Help me get him onto the bed." He bent close to the king and pushed him over until he was on his back. "And no. Do not even_ think_ about getting up. We do not know what is wrong with you, and I do not fancy wearing your insides; I already dealt with a little dwarfling this morning and I do not need it from my own king."

Thorin grumbled but stayed laying on his back and watched the three of them successfully pick him up and carry him to the bed... in one try. Once he was comfortable, courtesy of Bilbo, Oin checked him over once or twice before stepping back with a slight frown on his face. "What is it?" Thorin asked, trying to sit up but a wave of nausea knocking him down.

Oin stroked his chin and stared at Thorin. "When was the last time you ate something?"

"I do not know!" Thorin said, getting annoyed that the dwarf wasn't telling him something he should know. "Two or three days ago."

Bilbo sighed and put his face in his hands. "You stubborn dwarf," he mumbled through his fingers and Thorin knew he would be in trouble once Balin and Oin left.

"I have done it before," he protested. "It has never caused anything like this."

Oin and Balin exchanged knowing looks before turning to Thorin with smiles on their faces.

"What?" the king asked rather gruffly.

"Laddie," Balin began, "when was the last time you had your monthly tea?"

Thorin blinked. Tea? Monthly tea? "I took it two weeks ago. Why?"

"What happened after you took your tea?" Oin asked. "Any out of the ordinary side effects?"

Thorin thought long and hard for several minutes before jumping out of bed and barely making to the lavatory as he threw up. Bilbo looked shocked as he heard his husband heave heavily many times.

"What is wrong with him?" he asked when the dry heaves stopped.

"I'm pregnant," Thorin said, coming back into the room and drying his now clean beard.

Bilbo froze and gaped at him. Now, it was _his_ turn to feel sick. He admittedly felt the room begin to spin really fast. Thorin was next to him in seconds, sensing his dizziness. Bilbo blinked several times as if trying to clear the sentence he just heard from his head.

"Bilbo?" Thorin asked, rubbing the hobbit's back gently. "Halfling?"

"Are you alright, laddie?" Balin asked.

And just like the day back at Bag End, Bilbo said, "No," before fainting, this time in Thorin's arms.


	2. Chapter 2

**I am thinking of adding a little, teeny, tiny twist... Let's see if you guys can pick it up. And if you do, let me know what you think. :D  
**

* * *

"Bilbo?" Thorin asked gently, sitting on the edge of the bed after returning from the dining hall where Balin and Oin had _forced_ him to eat a healthy meal. "Bilbo?" he tried again when his husband did not stir. He gently laid a hand on Bilbo's shoulder before standing to shed his clothes, till he was left in his trousers, and snuggle next to his hobbit, pulling Bilbo's back against his chest. He wrapped a strong arm around Bilbo's waist and buried his face in the hobbit's curls.

"P-Pregnant?" Bilbo whispered, Thorin's movements waking him up.

Thorin grunted in response.

"How?" Bilbo asked.

"Well," Thorin grinned to himself. "It begins when a two people love each other-"

Bilbo elbowed him in the side. "Shut up and answer my question."

Thorin chuckled. "Fine, hobbit. I will answer your question." He smiled when Bilbo turned in his arms and waited patiently for an explanation. "After a male dwarf lies with another man, he is able to have a child. As Oin mentioned, I have a special tea that stops me from having children; though I would have to take that tea once a month."

Bilbo raised an eyebrow.

"I might have forgotten to take it this month, hence..." He gestured to his body. "I am sorry I brought this upon you. Though I am very grateful male hobbits cannot bear children." Thorin smiled at Bilbo who seemed to lose some color in his face though the dwarf did not notice. "I love you, Bilbo." Thorin said. "I do apologize for any potential breakdowns, anger issues, or hormone rages that are to come."

"Have you ever _been_ with child before?" Bilbo asked, stroking the side of Thorin's face.

"No," he answered. "But I have been around those who have. And let me tell you, all hell might break loose."

Bilbo smiled at this statement, though now he really couldn't imagine all hell breaking loose... not yet, and kissed Thorin's nose. "If all it breaks, I want you to know that I will always be here with you."

Thorin tried to smile, but all he did was shed a tear of happiness. "I am sorry," he choked and Bilbo shushed him. So there the king was, getting comforted by his husband as the hormones took over his body... but this was the beginning.

Yes, just the beginning...

* * *

That night, Thorin and Bilbo had walked hand-in-hand through the mountain and towards the dining hall where a feast was to be held. Thorin had fears of telling the company of the babe, but Bilbo had assured him that whatever happened, he'd be there. Thorin had thanked his hobbit and requested that they and the company have a feast in honor of the news... the news, though, was to be saved for last. At the dining all, Balin greeted them as they entered; he had a knowing grin on his face and Thorin had shot him a 'don't you _dare_ tell them' look. Balin nodded and Thorin was pacified that his good friend wasn't going to say anything. After the small encounter, Thorin sighed heavily as he sat at the head of the table, Bilbo took the seat to his left and smiled warmly at him.

"Are you alright?" he asked, seeing Thorin run his hands over his face.

"Yes," Thorin replied, glancing at Bilbo. "I am just tired."

Bilbo couldn't hide his smile as Thorin looked so out of it. He glanced at the main door and saw Fili and Kili talking with Balin by the door. After two years of marriage, Bilbo was still self-conscious about kissing Thorin in front of his company, but when Fili and Kili had their backs to them, Bilbo stood and pecked Thorin's cheek. He sat down and Thorin smiled tiredly at him.

"I saw that," Bofur said, appearing out of nowhere by Bilbo's side.

Bilbo squeaked in surprise and Thorin chuckled. "Wh-What?! Wh-Where?! What?!"

"You know," Bofur began, ignoring Bilbo's sputters. "You have been the King's Consort for... oh, uh, _two_ years. What's the embarrassment about kissing him in public?"

Bilbo stuttered and glanced at Thorin for any signs of help; the dwarf shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. Bilbo narrowed his eyes at him and playfully shoved him. "Dwarfs," he muttered. Bofur chuckled and clapped Bilbo on the shoulder (gently, of course) and sat down two seats away from Bilbo and Thorin.

"Love," Thorin said wearily. "Will you do your husband a favor?"

The hobbit nodded his head and looked expectantly at Thorin, waiting patiently for his king's command.

"I have a knot in my shoulders," Thorin said and Bilbo laughed. "Halfling, will you..."

Bilbo nodded, stood behind Thorin, and began massaging the king's tight shoulders. Thorin felt the small hobbit hands against his back and groaned softly as Bilbo loosened the aching knot. The king closed his eyes and laid his head in his hands, resting his elbows on the table, as Bilbo continued. For a good five minutes, Bilbo massaged Thorin's shoulders until the dwarf grunted and nodded. Bilbo lovingly rubbed Thorin's back before he sat back down. He smiled at his pathetic-looking husband who looked as if he were to fall asleep right then.

"Geez," Kili said. "I sat down and heard Uncle grunt. I thought you two were going at it here. I was ready to cover my beautiful, unspoiled, precious eyes."

Thorin grumbled but flashed his youngest nephew a small smile. He looked around the table and noticed that nearly all of the company was seated in their respective spots; Thorin probably figured they came in when Bilbo was tending to him. Balin and Dwalin were seated to Thorin's right, Kili and Fili were next to Bilbo, followed by Bofur, Bombur, and Bifur, across from them were Dori, Nori, and Ori, and finally Oin and Gloin sat next to Balin and Dwalin. Thorin smiled; he had a feeling everything would go smoothly tonight.

As the food was served, Bilbo laughed lightly as he noticed Thorin was trying his best not to eat in a hurry, though the dwarf was hungry since he was... well, a dwarf and, of course, eating for two. Thorin glanced at him upon hearing the laugh and frowned slightly. Bilbo shook his head and kept eating. During dinner, subtle conversations were shared mostly between Bofur, Oin, and Kili since their King had fallen eerily silent, though the hobbit could tell his husband was completely nervous about telling everyone.

When Bofur and Oin got into a long conversation about some dwarfling sickness, Bilbo leaned over and whispered in Thorin's ear. "We don't have to tell them today. I can see you're nervous, and I don't want you to be stressing over something that we can share with them later."

Thorin looked at him and nodded. "I suppose you are right; I am a nervous wreck right now." He leaned over and kissed the hobbit's lips, thanking him for knocking some sense into him. Bilbo flushed intensely at the unexpected kiss and flushed even more when Kili elbowed him in the ribs. "We shall tell them later," Thorin whispered, his beard tickling his husband's neck.

And that is what they did. When dinner was through, Balin ushered everyone out in a calmly manner so the King and his husband could enjoy their walk back to the royal chambers without any disturbance; the dwarf and hobbit laughing and teasing each other as they went.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hehe... i don't know what to say... Just read... Just read and review... PLEASE! (psst! emphasis on review)  
**

* * *

The secret of the King and his Consort's babe had been peacefully kept quiet for about two months, and by that time, a small bump had rounded Thorin's midsection just a little bit. During the months, Bilbo had questioned his husband of dwarf pregnancies and how long they were. Needless to say Bilbo almost stopped breathing when Thorin told him that they carried a child for a little over a year. Throughout the weeks, Thorin had been overrun with stress from the mountain but had managed to keep in his anger about, what Bilbo gathered was, the 'blasted-no-good-mindless-stupid-bloody-cannot- even-think-for-themselves-without-bothering-their- king _annoying dwarfs_'. Bilbo had done his very best to keep Thorin's temper down every night he returned to their chambers. This night, however, did not go well.

"Those damn treeshaggers who have no respect for _anyone_ but their own damned kin..." Thorin grumbled loudly, entering the chamber, tossing the crown from his head onto the floor (where it landed with a loud thud), and shrugging off his clothes... to the best of his ability since he couldn't get far with his cloak-belt still on. "I'd like to shove Orcrist up that tree-elf's-"

"You're home," Bilbo interrupted, coming into the front room.

"Damn right," Thorin growled, still fighting with his clothing. "I do not ever want to see that bloody-no-good elf who insulted _my_ kingdom."

"Thorin?" Bilbo tried, noticing the dwarf was going to rip his belt. "Honey, can you just-"

"What?!" Thorin demanded with a raised voice that made Bilbo shrink back in fear.

Taking a deep breath, Bilbo cautiously approached the hormonal-angered king as one might approach an easily-spooked animal. Thorin snarled in rage as Bilbo inched forward.

"Why are you _ears_ pointed like those _miserable elves'?"_ he growled, reaching forward and grabbing Bilbo's arm roughly. He did not notice Bilbo wince in pain as he yanked his arm until the halfling's face was inches away from his own. Thorin neared his hand to Bilbo's ear and his fingers ran over it until they found the obvious point at the tip. "Why do you stare at me that way?" Thorin released Bilbo's arm and took one giant step forward; poor Bilbo only had enough time to back into a wall.

"Thorin," Bilbo began, pressing himself up against the wall as if to hide from the dwarf. "You're angry. Please, please... please don't _hurt_ me..."

Somehow, Bilbo's words seemed to reach out to the dwarf king, because Thorin's face fell... and so did he. Bilbo gasped and watched as Thorin fell to his knees, bringing his hands up to cover his face as he began to cry. Soon, loud sobs filled the entire room and Bilbo was torn between going to comfort him and keeping his distance. After many more sobs that nearly had himself crying as well, Bilbo knelt down next to the dwarf and gently pulled the rough hands away from his king's face. He offered Thorin a small smile when he saw his tear-stained cheeks, red-rimmed eyes, and _ever-majestic_ pout.

"Thorin," Bilbo said softly, caressing the side of his husband's face. "You are upset, and you are tired."

The dwarf grumbled and pulled his head out of Bilbo's grasp. "I am so sorry, Bilbo. I would never hurt you." He looked away from the hobbit's gaze. "You know that, do you not?"

Bilbo smiled and grasped Thorin's chin, making his husband face him. "I _do_ know that, and I _know_ you are sorry."

Thorin smiled and stood up, pulling his hobbit up as well. He proceeded to remove his clothing only to return to his frustrated state.

"Thorin," the hobbit soothed. "Let me."

The dwarf king ceased his movements and watched as Bilbo removed his belt and his cloak gently. The hobbit, then, peeled off his armor and mithril shirt before leading Thorin over to the bed and proceeding to remove the dwarf's boots. Thorin watched how Bilbo treated him with such care, glad that_ he_ was the only one who received such treatment. He smiled when Bilbo lifted his tunic and rested a small hand on his slightly raised belly. Soon, he covered the hobbit's hand with his own.

"Bilbo," Thorin began, sending his husband a loving smile when the hobbit looked up.

"What?" Bilbo asked.

Thorin only smiled and pulled Bilbo onto his chest as he laid down on the bed. He sighed contentedly as Bilbo snuggled into him, both still keeping their hands on their unborn child.

* * *

Bilbo didn't realize that he and Thorin had fallen asleep until insistent pounding came from the main door of the chambers. Blinking rapidly to wake, Bilbo felt Thorin stir and sit up with a groan.

"These insufferable dwarfs," he grumbled, standing and tugging his tunic down before trudging to the main door. "What do you-" he began angrily but stopped when Fili stood there with a sheepish grin on his face. "What did you do?"

"Nothing, Uncle," the young dwarf answered, nervously shifting on his feet. "May I come in?"

Thorin grumbled but stepped aside to let his nephew enter. As he closed the door, Kili squeezed through the tiny opening and fell into the room, accidentally knocking down his unsuspecting uncle. "What-" Thorin grunted as his front hit the floor.

"Thorin!" Bilbo squeaked, scrambling off the bed and kneeling beside his husband. "Are you alright?"

"He just fell," Kili said, standing and brushing himself off before offering his uncle a hand. "What's the big deal?"

Thorin paled at his nephew's observation and glanced at Bilbo who offered him his hand. Taking it gratefully, Bilbo (along with Fili and Kili) hoisted the dwarf king up.

"Are you alright?" Bilbo whispered, cradling his husband's face in his hands.

Thorin nodded though Bilbo could tell he was worried that the sudden impact of the floor might have hurt the babe.

"After they leave," Bilbo said, nodding his head towards Fili and Kili who both had confused looks on their faces. "We'll go see Oin. Alright?"

Thorin nodded again, not trusting his voice. Bilbo smiled and gave him a comforting hug along with a reassuring kiss... and heard gagging noises behind him. Pulling away from the kiss, which caused Thorin's mouth to find his neck and trail kisses up along the hobbit's jawline, Bilbo turned to see Kili holding his stomach in mock pain while Fili was shaking his head at his brother's actions. "For Durin's sake, Kili," Bilbo said. "It's not like we're having-"

"Good-bye!" Kili interrupted loudly, dashing for the door, flinging it open, and high-tailing for anywhere else but there.

Thorin chuckled at his nephew's hurried movements, his lips still attached to his husbands jaw. Bilbo moaned and clutched the dwarf as Thorin hit a sensitive spot.

Fili, who had not been watching them, spun around at the noise and grimaced. "Must you two do this?!" he asked. "In _front_ of me?!"

"You came here to talk," Thorin said in between kisses. "Now, talk. Or be scarred for life."

Bilbo let out a laugh that soon turned into a giggle as Thorin nipped at his nose in a playful manner. "Thorin," he laughed. "Let the boy talk."

Thorin grumbled but turned his husband around in his arms, securing the hobbit against his chest, before staring at Fili who dared not move for fear that his uncle and their burglar were going to do something rambunctious. "Fili?" Thorin prompted in a stern voice.

"Oh, yes..." Fili managed, tearing his green eyes from the couple and staring at a lovely lopsided piece of clothing on a chair (needless to say the article of clothing made him shudder). Oh, yes. He did _not_ want to know what they had been doing, _not at all_. "Right." He let out a shaky laugh when he noticed his uncles staring at him. "Well, I came here to... ask..."

"Ask what?" Thorin prodded, supporting Bilbo when he noticed the hobbit swayed a bit. He removed his attention from Fili to focus on his husband who began mumbling something. "Bilbo?" he asked softly. "Âzyungâl?"

"To ask you..." Fili sighed. This would have been a whole lot different if Kili had stayed; the young dwarf, whom he called his brother, could just blurt it out and save Fili from feeling bad. "If we can... uh... go to... the Iron Hills?" He cringed, waiting for Thorin's gruff and demanding voice.

But none came.

Slowly, Fili turned to face them. He opened his mouth as he saw Thorin kneeling over Bilbo who... looked like he had passed out. "Uncle?" Fili asked, kneeling across from Thorin to see the worried look on his face. "Uncle-"

"Get Oin and Balin," he commanded harshly.

Fili nodded and almost literally flew out of the chambers in search of Balin and Oin. It didn't take him long to find them, seeing how he knocked Balin down in the process of finding him. Nearly ten minutes later (Oin was in the lower chambers tending to a small dwarfling with the flu), Balin, Oin, and Fili returned to the chambers where Thorin was sitting beside an unconscious Bilbo lying on the bed, holding the hobbit's hand. When he saw Fili arrive, he stood sharply.

"What happened?" Balin asked, coming to stand beside Thorin.

"I do not know," Thorin answered. "I... Fili was talking and I... didn't..."

"It is alright, laddie," Balin soothed, gently pushing the king back into the chair. "We will see what is wrong with him?"

Oin approached the bed while Fili came to stand to Thorin's side. Oin pulled out several items from his small case and proceeded to using several on the passed out hobbit. After a few pokes and prods at the King's Consort, Oin stood back and frowned.

"What is wrong with him?!" Thorin desperately asked, trying to stand despite Balin's effort to keep him still.

"Well," Oin began, eyeing Bilbo curiously. "I cannot say. I have never seen this in... well, a hobbit... seeing he is the only one in Erebor."

That didn't appease Thorin. The dwarf king sighed heavily, resting his head in his hands and advanced in mentally kicking himself for not seeing this sooner but only when it was too late. He grumbled as he felt two sets of hands rub his back. He grunted to himself; he was King under the Mountain for crying out loud, he shouldn't need two people consoling him.

"Thorin?" Oin asked.

The dwarf lifted his head.

"Did you hear what I just asked?" Oin questioned, raising an eyebrow. "Or were you too busy grumbling?"

Thorin growled at Oin's disrespectful tone. "No, I did not hear you."

"I asked if you noticed anything odd with Bilbo lately," Oin said, folding his arms and waiting for an answer.

It took Thorin a good ten minutes to carefully think Bilbo's actions over the past few months through in his head. In the end, he shook his head, not remembering anything wrong with his hobbit.

"Well," Oin said, clapping his hands so loudly that it made all three dwarfs jump. "It is _not_ the theory I had in mind."

"Which was?" Fili pressed, just as concerned as Thorin.

"Not important," Oin answered as he gathered his things, purposely avoiding their gazes. "Now, I will be back in a few hours with a tonic for him. I have a small dwarfling I _was_ attending to before your nephew harshly dragged me out."

Thorin snarled at Oin's tone. Who did this dwarf think he was? Thorin was not about to let anything pass under his nose, not after what had happened to Bilbo just now. And Thorin _needed_ to get to the bottom of Oin's theory, even if that old, rotten dwarf wasn't going to tell him. "And just why are you leaving _my_ Consort to tend to some _damn_ dwarfling?"

"Be careful what you say Thorin," Oin said, flicking his eyes to Thorin's midsection before glancing at the king's face again. "How would you feel if that was _your_ dwarfling who was on the verge of dying from a human disease?"

Thorin became dreadfully quiet after Oin's words... which had been many minutes ago now. Fili leaned towards his uncle who had been standing for the past seven minutes. He _and_ Balin were worried Oin had... broken him for he was not moving... _at all_. Fili took to poking Thorin's arm a few times before Balin whacked his arm and shook his own head. They had a silent fight about what to do with Thorin for the next minute or two before the dwarf king finally moved.

"Uncle?"

"Laddie?"

Thorin didn't answer as he headed towards the main chamber door. He glanced back at Bilbo before flinging the door open and knocking down an eavesdropping Kili. He grunted an apology to his nephew, who stood while rubbing his behind, before walking towards the lower chambers in search of Oin.


	4. Chapter 4

Thorin solemnly shuffled down and through Erebor's halls, receiving confused glances from his people as he got closer to the main hall. Glancing down at himself, Thorin grumbled as he was only wearing a tunic and leather pants, no shoes. He had every nerve telling him to turn around and get his cloak, but his mind stayed trained on finding Oin. During his journey downstairs, he glared at any dwarf that stared at him for too long. When he entered the main hall, dwarfs gave him double-takes and long stares that made Thorin want to shout at them. _Oi, there are a lot of dwarfs here_... Thorin thought. With all his might, he focused on the floor ahead of him and ignored the whispers and stares from the other dwarfs.

"Thorin!"

The dressed-down dwarf king turned around to see Fili running towards him. "What is it?" he asked, afraid that something had happened to Bilbo.

"Here," Fili said, stopping in front of Thorin. "Figured you'd want this."

Thorin looked down at what Fili held; his cloak. He sighed but gratefully took the article of clothing from his nephew. "You could not have thought about this ten minutes ago?" he asked as he shrugged into his floor-length cloak; the whispers and stares disappearing as he covered his body.

"Well..." Fili began, shifting on his legs. "I would have... but..."

"But?" Thorin prompted as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Bilbo-"

"What happened?" the dwarf king asked in an exasperated tone; now truly concerned for his husband.

Fili shifted again and Thorin growled a warning. "He was sick a few times before he... passed out again."

Thorin felt like he couldn't breath; he needed to get to Oin and fast. Bilbo was suffering with something no one knew. Knowing that his hobbit was sick and in possible pain made the dwarf king's heart feel heavy in his chest; he should be the one protecting and making sure no harm came to his husband, and he didn't see this coming. Nodding slowly, Thorin rested a hand on his nephew's shoulder. "I'll be there in a bit," he said quietly. "Thank you."

Fili gave him a small smile before retreating to the chambers.

Thorin sighed heavily and trudged for the infirmary.

* * *

Opening the doors of the private section where the healers said Oin was, Thorin spotted the deaf dwarf leaning over a small dwarfling lying on a cot. Thorin weaved his way towards Oin and cringed when he glanced at the little girl on the bed. She was exceedingly pale, her brown hair creating a stark contrast to her white skin, her lips were turning a shade of purple, and her eyes were clouded over. She looked no younger than twelve years old (about three or four in human years). Unconsciously, Thorin rested his hand on his belly and thought of the small... dwarfling?... growing inside him.

"Your Majesty," the father of the dwarfling said.

Thorin snapped out of his thoughts and dropped his hand. "Yes?"

"Is there anything you can do to help our daughter?" the dwarf asked, wrapping an arm around the dwarfling's mother. "Your Majesty, please."

Thorin's heart clenched as he glanced from the dwarf-parents to their daughter who was resisting Oin's medicine. He shook his head and sighed. "I am sorry. I cannot do anything more. Oin is the best healer I know."

The deaf dwarf looked up and smiled at Thorin before tending to the dwarfling again.

"Thank you, Your Majesty," the male dwarf said, bowing his head. "Master Oin, will she live?"

Oin stood back and sighed. He glanced down at his hands before looking at Thorin who gave him a small smile. The dwarf healer thought about his options before answering. "Her recovery will be very slow, but there is... no guarantee she will make it."

Thorin wanted so badly to cry when the dwarfling's parents choked on sobs as the thought of their daughter dying sunk in. But as king, Thorin stayed strong though he had clear his throat and shift several times before the urge to cry passed. He watched as Oin made hurried movements around the little dwarfling; he felt guilt wash over him as he remembered his words to the healer back in his chambers.

"Oin?" Thorin asked once Oin was away from the sleeping dwarfling.

"Yes, Thorin?"

"I am sorry for my earlier words to you," Thorin said, looking down at his bare feet. "I... seeing these dwarfs here made me realize that I was wrong to say such words."

Oin snorted. "Wow, King Thorin Oakenshield is apologizing? For being a thick-headed idiot? Wow, I must remember this day..."

"Shut it," Thorin grumbled, still staring at his feet. "I... I also came here to ask you for-"

"The tonic for Bilbo," Oin finished, scurrying around the room for the supplies he needed. "Yes, I will get started on it now."

Thorin looked up and nodded. "What was that theory you had in mind? Earlier?"

Oin shrugged but didn't answer.

"Oin?"

"Well," he began. "I just thought that maybe... Bilbo... could... be..."

"Could be what?" Thorin asked, growing impatient.

"With child as well," Oin said, partially hiding behind the table he standing next to. "Why?"

Thorin didn't answer; his mind was still stuck on the fact that Oin thought Bilbo was pregnant. "Wha-What?"

"Bilbo. With. Child. Was. My. Theory."

Thorin glared at him. "I heard you. I am just wondering how you could think that."

"Well," Oin said, mixing a water and crushed flowers together. "Judging from the events that happened when you got-"

_"Shh!"_

"Sorry. Anyway, you passed out, so I assumed the same thing happened to Bilbo." Oin added more medicine to the bowl on the table. "I'm sorry. I know that isn't likely, but-"

"It is fine, I guess," Thorin said, rubbing his midsection as a wave of hunger hit him. "I..."

"When are you going to tell people?" Oin asked, pouring the mixture into a small bottle.

Thorin was caught off guard. "What?"

"The babe?" Oin answered, shaking the bottle once he capped it.

"Oh," Thorin replied. "Tonight... I guess... depending if Bilbo feels better."

Oin nodded and handed the king the bottle of tonic before creating more medicine for the dwarfling.

* * *

Thorin opened his chamber door to find Bilbo awake and looking a bit well. The hobbit smiled when he caught sight of him.

"Hey," Bilbo said, shifting so he could face Thorin who had taken a seat next to the bed. The hobbit reached for his husband's hand as the dwarf ran his own through Bilbo's curls.

"How are you feeling?" Thorin asked, stroking his thumb over the hobbit's forehead.

"Better," was the answer, not enough to satisfy the dwarf king. "I still feel a bit sick though."

Thorin nodded and bent to give his husband a kiss.

"I am sorry," Bilbo said and Thorin gave him a confused look. "For this. I just-" Bilbo was cut off as Thorin pressed his lips against his. When the hobbit pulled away, he saw the smirk on his dwarf's face. "Do you always have to do that?"

"Only to get my way," Thorin whispered, kissing him lightly again.

Bilbo laughed, and Thorin chuckled against the halfling's lips. "I didn't know you were so bossy," Bilbo said as he snaked his arms around Thorin's neck. "Life with you will be an adventure."

Thorin nipped his nose as he laced his own arms around the hobbit's middle, carefully scooting him over as he laid next to him. Once settled, Bilbo turned in his arms and peeled the dwarf's cloak from his body, letting it fall to the floor. The hobbit raised his eyebrow as he saw what Thorin was wearing.

"A tunic?" he asked, a grin growing on his face.

"Yes," Thorin answered. "Why?"

Bilbo shook his head and only snuggled into his husband who securely held him against his chest. The hobbit felt safe in Thorin's arms; the only place he wanted to be.


	5. Chapter 5

Bilbo and Thorin walked hand-in-hand down towards the dining hall for dinner and to share the news of their... dwarfling?... hobbit?... Bilbo had taken two doses of the tonic before Thorin was satisfied his hobbit would be fine. He, on the other hand, was not so fine as he was about to tell the whole company, apart from Oin and Balin, that he was... with child.

"Thorin," Bilbo said, noticing his husband's distress. "Everything will be fine. I'll be there with you, and we will get through this. Alright?"

The dwarf nodded and pulled Bilbo closer as they neared the dining hall. As king, he chose to arrive early to have some time to his thoughts without being bothered by unimportant and subtle conversations. Much to his liking as they entered the hall, hardly any dwarf was there; only Balin and Oin sat in their respective spots, waiting patiently. Both nodded at Thorin and Bilbo when the dwarf and hobbit sat down. Thorin gave a small smile to both dwarfs and sat down to fret about what words to say.

"Sweetheart," Bilbo soothed, rubbing his hand on Thorin's leg. "It'll be fine."

Thorin nodded but didn't stop thinking about everyone's impending reactions. "I know. I am just... scared."

"Of?" Bilbo asked, creasing his brow.

"Of everyone not truly accepting _this_," he finished, gesturing to his belly.

Bilbo sighed. "You are our king... Alright, you are _their_ king," Bilbo corrected himself when Thorin glared at him. "They will accept us having a baby. Stop worrying about it." Bilbo offered the dwarf a small smile and reached to rub Thorin's belly. "It'll be fine, and don't _ever_ call our child _a '__this_' again."

Thorin smiled at his husband. "Thank you," he said. "I do not know where I would be without you."

"Well," the hobbit began, "you would not be as happy as you are now."

Thorin leaned over and nuzzled Bilbo's nose. "You are right, my dear Bilbo." He chuckled as his husband let out a giggle as Thorin's breath tickled him. "I love you, so much."

Bilbo shifted his head slightly and kissed Thorin. "And I love you, more than you will ever know."

Thorin smiled and slid his tongue into his hobbit's mouth causing Bilbo to gasp then moan. The dwarf moved his hands to cradle Bilbo's head as the loving kiss deepened, while Bilbo leaned forward to engulf Thorin's tongue, gently biting it and laughing when Thorin growled deeply.

"Why must you two do this when we come?" Fili complained, walking into the room and reluctantly taking his seat, with a disgusted look on his face, across from Bilbo as the hobbit pulled back from Thorin, a string of saliva connecting their lips as they parted. Fili gagged.

"I'm going to stop coming to these organized dinners if you two keep it up," Kili threatened, sliding in his seat next to the hobbit and scooting it farther away from him. "I swear," he said, eyeing his uncles. "It's all you do."

Thorin chuckled, and Bilbo was thankful the tension in the dwarf's posture lessened. "You simply come in at the wrong time."

Kili scoffed and Fili snorted. "I doubt it," Kili said. "You probably have guards that tell you when we are coming."

"Yeah, then you get into your little..." Fili waved his hand as a gesture. "Mood and start kissing each other."

"You should have seen 'em two days ago," Bofur said, sitting down next to Kili with a grin on his face. "They were kissing madly in the halls."

Fili and Kili turned sharply to look at Thorin and Bilbo whose faces were bright red and their eyes casted somewhere else. Fili raised an eyebrow. "They'll do it anywhere."

Kili nodded; a disgusted look grazing his features. "Yep, I don't want to know what they do in private." He shuddered. "It's bad enough I'm getting damaged out here with you two kissing and making noises and taking advantage of our good-virgin sight!"

Bilbo laughed despite the growing embarrassment on his face. He glanced at Thorin who had a similar look to him. The hobbit smiled at his husband who winked at him in response. The moment would have been partially sexy if not for Gloin and Dwalin walking in the room.

"Seriously?" Dwalin exclaimed. "First, I see you two going at it like teenagers in the hallway, and now you two are sending off waves of arousal? I knew I shouldn't have come." He sighed as he took a seat beside Balin.

Gloin followed him and sat next to his brother. "I don't know about you two." He shook his head before looking at Thorin whose had an expression crossed between amusement and embarrassment. "It seems that's all you're doing. It's a wonder why one of you hasn't gotten pregnant yet."

Thorin nearly choked on the air he breathed in. Everyone at the table stared at him with a look of knowing on their faces.

"You are?!" Fili exclaimed. "That is just great news!"

Thorin glanced at Bilbo before standing to properly address the news. "I... uh..."

"I didn't know male hobbits could get pregnant?" Kili asked, looking at Bilbo.

"They cannot," Thorin answered, getting annoyed that his nephews wouldn't let him speak.

"Sorry, we're late," Nori said as he, Ori, Dori, Bombur, and Bifur filed in the room.

Thorin accidentally let out a sigh of frustration which caused every dwarf in the dining hall, including his hobbit, to shrink back into their chairs with slight fear. The dwarf king shook his head as an apology for the sudden sound, and everyone heaved a sigh of relief. He glanced at Bilbo who looked as if he wanted to say something. "Bilbo?"

"Oh, uh..." the hobbit began, glancing at Kili. "They... we can... because we share a common bloodline with..." Bilbo gulped. "Elves, hence our slightly pointed ears." He smiled at Kili who nodded his head in understanding. When Bilbo shifted his attention back to Thorin, the dwarf looked very pale and tad bit green. "Thorin? Are you alright?"

"Mm hmm," Thorin hummed as he tried to wrap his head around the fact that Bilbo _could_ be pregnant. He stayed silent for a long while; so long, the others became worried and few wondered what their king had been trying to say.

"Thorin?" Balin asked from down the table. "You okay, laddie?"

Thorin nodded but braced himself against the table for support as the room began to spin. "Just need air."

Bilbo stood quickly as did Balin and Oin; all three standing relatively close to Thorin in case anything happened. "Thorin?" Bilbo tried again as his husband began to take deep breaths. "What is wrong?"

Every dwarf was staring at their king as he faltered for a brief second before collapsing onto the floor. All gasped in surprise and fear; Dwalin stood along with Fili and Kili. The three dwarfs stood beside Balin, Oin, and Bilbo who were all huddled around the passed out king.

"Is he alright?" Bilbo asked, placing Thorin's head on his lap and stroking the dwarf's forehead.

Oin nodded. "It's just a bit of a shock."

Bilbo frowned and looked down at Thorin who had a pained look to him. "Shock of what?"

"You sharing to us, and to him, that male hobbits can become pregnant," Oin answered, checking Thorin over to make sure nothing was wrong. "He's fine."

"Well," Bilbo continued, running his hand over Thorin's hair. "Why would that make him pass out? It's not like..." Bilbo's face fell. "No," he said. "No, I cannot be... not when he's... oh, no. No. No!"

Oin shrugged and smiled at him. "Who knows. I do not have the proper tools here to know for sure, but if in a couple of months-"

"No!" Bilbo said firmly. "I cannot be... _pregnant_," he hissed. "It's bad enough I have got a dwarf in _that_ condition."

"What?" Thorin croaked, coming to at exactly the wrong moment. "What did you say?"

Bilbo gulped. "Nothing," he said hurriedly, stroking Thorin's forehead again.

"Thorin, lad," Dwalin began, thinking in his head. "Are you... with child?"

"I think I am going to pass out again," Thorin grumbled, closing his eyes.

"Uncle?" Fili and Kili asked at the same time. "Is it true?"

Thorin grunted a smart reply and Bilbo had half a mind to drop his head. Instead, Thorin merely received a soft smack from Bilbo and incredulous looks from his nephews... and Dwalin... and everyone in earshot.

To summarize, the only dwarfs who verbally congratulated the king, who was still on the floor, and the hobbit, who prayed Thorin didn't hear his comment, were Bofur, Bombur, Ori, and Dori. Everyone else... not so much. Kili and Fili had gone pale, while Dwalin was stilling trying to work it out in his head. Nori and Bifur were conversing in Khuzdul about the possibilities of that happening with a hobbit. Gloin stood there looking from Thorin to Oin to Bilbo and to Thorin again, still in shock himself.

"Thorin," Bilbo said, feeling helpless as his husband started to sit up. "You must lay back down; you aren't ready to get up."

"Bilbo's right, Thorin," Oin said. "Rest and wait until you are ready."

"I am ready," Thorin replied, struggling to stand. He glanced towards Bilbo who had his arms folded across his chest; Thorin knew he wasn't going to help him. With an 'umph', the dwarf king stood in a relatively close upright position and glanced around at the company. "Yes, I am... pregnant," he said, not too confident about their reactions.

He became uneasy when no one responded. After a very, very long and drawn out silence, Fili was the first to speak. "How far along are you?"

Thorin sighed. "Two, maybe three, months."

"So, let me get this straight," Kili said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "You two managed to keep this..." He waved his hand towards Thorin like he was some orc. "A secret for two months?"

Thorin let out a low growl. "My child is not a '_this_'."

Bilbo snickered from his spot in the corner of the group.

"Fine, but," Kili continued, "whatever you choose to call this... this... dwarf... Wait." Kili eyed both Thorin and Bilbo carefully before opening his mouth to speak. "If you're a dwarf," he said, pointing at Thorin. "And you're a hobbit," he added, pointing at Bilbo with his other hand. "What does that make... your kid?"

"Does it matter?" Thorin asked, the stress from right then making him tired... and hungry.

"Kili, let it go," Fili whispered to his brother. "Just forget it. They're still the same as they were before. Kili, please don't act this way."

"No," Kili said, annoyed by his brother's caring for once. "I will not be a part of this... this... _cross-breeding_!" He angrily shrugged off Fili's hand and marched out of the dining hall, closing the heavy door with the loudest bang he could muster.

* * *

***holds up hands in defense* Kili made me do it!**


	6. Chapter 6

Thorin silently strode through the halls and down into the archery range just outside the mountain. He sighed as he found his nephew red in the face and flinging arrows to the targets around the area. Making himself known, Thorin walked loudly towards the young dwarf. "Kili," he said, clearing his throat.

"What," Kili answered in a cold tone.

The dwarf king sighed. "Why are you acting this way?"

"Why do _you_ care?" the other spat, releasing the arrow where it made a sickening crunch against a tree.

"Because I love you, Kili," Thorin answered, coming to stand a good distance away from the angry dwarf. "I want to know what has you so upset."

Kili huffed and set another arrow onto his bow, this time, turning around and pointing it at Thorin.

The king held up his hands in defense. "Kili, please. You have always supported Bilbo and I; why not now?"

With an icy glare he learned from his uncle, Kili released the arrow and watched, in awe and disgust, as Thorin's hands flew to his stomach, protecting his and Bilbo's unborn child. "I should have asked if you were wearing armor," Kili joked in a flat tone, picking the arrow out of a target just to the side of Thorin.

"I am not," Thorin answered, slowly removing his hands from his belly. "If you wish to know."

"Why?" Kili asked out of nowhere.

"What?"

"Why are you pregnant?" he asked.

Thorin sighed and sat down on a small bench while Kili continued to shoot arrows at the targets... well, the trees. "I forgot to take my monthly tea for one week. Why do wish to know?"

Kili shrugged.

"Kili?" Thorin asked in a concerned tone. "Are you jealous?"

"Jealous of what?" Kili snapped, sticking an arrow through a small tree. "There is nothing to be jealous of."

"Kili..."

The young dwarf turned and glared fiercely at Thorin who offered him a small, comforting smile. "Fine!" he said at last. "What if I am jealous; it's not like _you_ care."

"Kili!" Thorin growled, standing up. "Never say that again." The dwarf king sighed loudly and carefully inched towards Kili. Resting his hands upon his nephews shoulders, Thorin said (in a much softer voice), "I _do_ care about you, and I do not want you to be upset with me. I am sorry I am pregnant. If it is my apology you want, there it is. If it is Bilbo's apology, then you will have to get it from him. But I cannot change anything, Kili. Bilbo and I have wanted a child, but I thought it was not possible." He smiled warmly at Kili who glanced curiously at him. "I did not know male hobbits could get pregnant; the news was as much of a shock to me as it was to you."

"So you didn't know?" Kili asked.

Thorin shook his head.

Kili's mouth quirked upward into a small smile, which Thorin was happy to see though he knew his nephew was about to make fun of him. "That's why you fainted?"

"Durin men do not faint," Thorin said, coughing and trying to hide his own smile. "I simply did not see everyone's faces anymore."

Kili snorted. "You fainted." He smiled at his uncle who embraced him for a hug; a rare sign of affection but Kili knew his uncle was really worried about him. "I'm fine," he said, his voice muffled by Thorin's arm. "Really, Uncle. You can stop hugging me..." Kili glanced around them and saw other dwarfs give them sideways looks or double-takes. "Uncle, I'm too old for hugs. Please, I'm fine."

"You are never too old for hugs," Thorin said, his voice cracking.

Kili sighed, gave in, and returned the hug. "Thanks," he said once Thorin pulled back.

"For?"

Kili shrugged. "For still caring about me."

A pained expression crossed Thorin's face for a brief second before he straightened up and sighed. "Kili," he said, grasping his nephew's shoulders again. "I want you to listen to me. I love you and will _never_ stop caring about you. Do you understand?"

Kili nodded and hugged Thorin as hard as he could. "I love you too, Uncle."

"Now, tell me what has you jealous," the dwarf king said softly, returning to his seat on the bench.

"I... you..." Kili sighed heavily and sat next to Thorin. "You and Bilbo love each other so much, and I don't have anyone. I... am tired of you two making out in front of me and showing me that I can never have the one I want." Kili looked down at his hands which still held the bow and arrows.

"And who is it you want?" Thorin asked, wrapping his arm around the young dwarf's shoulder. "Kili?"

The other shook his head. "I... I don't... It's embarrassing... It's..."

"It's who?" Thorin asked. "Tell me."

"But I don't know if he'll return my feelings," Kili said, wiping his eyes from the tears of rejection that had fallen. "I don't want to be more hurt than I already am."

Thorin let out a partial grunt. "There is always a chance that your feelings will be returned. Never doubt yourself." Thorin smiled at Kili when the other leaned into him. "Besides, you have one heck of a pout; I am sure no man nor woman could say no to you."

"Really, Uncle?"

"Really," Thorin said, sighing contently for the first time in the past week. "So, who is it?"

"Uncle," Kili whined. "I don't wanna say."

"Say or Bilbo and I will torture you." Thorin grinned when Kili shot him a look.

"You wouldn't!"

"I would. In fact, maybe tonight, you'll join us in our be-"

"I'm good!" Kili said, standing up quickly. "I don't need to be there! I don't want to know!... and you're just joking with me..."

Thorin couldn't contain his laughter for very long after giving Kili one glance and seeing the young dwarf's narrowed eyes. The dwarf king burst out laughing, so hard, he fell off the bench.

"Uncle, it's not that funny."

Thorin was on his back laughing his heart out, but in time, he quieted down and the laughter ceased. "Ah," he finished, sighing after laughing so hard. "That was fun."

"Uncle..."

"I know, I know." Thorin sat up and glanced at Kili. "I am sorry, but that joke was the most brilliant I have had in years."

"Shut it," Kili said, standing in front of Thorin and offering the king his hand. He pulled his uncle up and made a run for the mountain.

"Kili?" Thorin asked, his eyes following the young dwarf. "What are you-"

"Come on, Uncle," Kili said, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "It's getting dark out. Don't want to be up late, now do we?"

"This boy's just mocking me," Thorin grumbled as he followed Kili into the mountain.

* * *

Bilbo paced inside the royal chambers. He paced back and forth, from the far wall in his and Thorin's bedroom to the far wall in the meeting room, and almost wore a path in the flooring. He was far too nervous about being pregnant, and he was absolutely frightened by the thought of being pregnant at the same time as Thorin. Bilbo had taken two more doses of the tonic which had emphasized how fast he was walking back and forth. Nothing in Middle Earth could help him for the chamber door opened and Thorin entered.

"Back so soon?" Bilbo asked, trying to mask his wavering voice; it didn't work.

Thorin creased his brow at Bilbo's question. "Are you feeling okay?"

"What? Oh, me..." The hobbit wrung his hands together in a nervous manner. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Bilbo," Thorin said sternly. The dwarf shrugged off his coat which he threw onto a chair in the bedroom before taking off his blue tunic. He caught Bilbo staring at his small belly; he smiled at his husband. "What is it?"

The hobbit shrugged. "I don't know," he said, lying down on the bed and glad when Thorin joined him. "I am... did you eat?" he asked abruptly, craning his head to look at Thorin.

The dwarf chuckled. "Yes, my dear Bilbo. I did eat." He placed a kiss to Bilbo's brow before kissing the hobbit's sweet lips. "You were saying?" he asked once Bilbo pulled back.

Bilbo sighed. "What if I am pregnant, Thorin? What if our marriage ends because we can't live with each other? Because of the hormones? Because we both know how stubborn and unpredictable we can be? Because-"

"Our marriage will never end," Thorin interrupted. "I don't see myself loving anyone else but you."

"I'm worrying for nothing, aren't I?" Bilbo asked, biting his lip.

Thorin shook his head and pressed a comforting kiss to Bilbo's nose. "No, my halfling. You are not. I am also worried about this... this..."

"Don't-"

"I am not calling our child a 'this', and if I did... and you were... then it would be _two_ 'this's." Thorin chuckled as Bilbo thumped his chest lightly. "Oh, Bilbo. Enough for one night. I am tired."

Bilbo nodded and snuggled deeper into Thorin's embrace. "I am sure you are going to tell the kingdom of the babe in the coming months?" Bilbo giggled as all he received was a grumble before hearing his dwarf's quiet snores. "Good night, my King," he said, kissing Thorin's bare chest.

* * *

**Next... hormonal!Thorin :O**


	7. Chapter 7

**As promised, hormonal!Thorin :D**

* * *

A month prior to now, Thorin Oakenshield, King under the Mountain, announced to the kingdom that he and his consort were expecting a child, and a few weeks later, when the dwarf found his hobbit throwing up his breakfast, he had to first tell the company. His former company's reaction was much better than it had been when they were told Thorin was pregnant. All the dwarfs had been supportive with both their pregnant king and pregnant consort... until now.

Now, all hell was just about to break loose.

First thing in the morning, Thorin had found that none of his tunics fit due to his already large pregnant belly. After having grumbled quite loudly about that, Thorin had made do with what he had (though it didn't cover him adequately...) and threw on his cloak before he started the day. He grumbled all the way out the door as Bilbo walked behind him to lock him out (the dwarf king was beginning to be extremely protective of his pregnant husband, so he didn't want the hobbit to be in the chambers _without_ the door locked). Bilbo had tried all morning to calm his husband but it didn't work; Thorin only left in a worse mood than he had gained to begin with.

'Dwarfs,' Bilbo had huffed as he shut the door.

'I heard that!' Thorin had shouted as he was a few yards away into the hall.

As the dwarf king trudged towards his study for some grueling paperwork, he ran into several dwarfs that raised their eyebrows at him. He sneered and snarled at each one until no dwarf even glanced at him. He had been slightly content as he opened his study door until Dwalin had followed him into the room. He just about growled questions at his friend until the other dwarf made a comment about the stretched-out tunic he was wearing. What Thorin did was just enough to scare the gruff warrior who immediately fled the room.

The rest of the morning was the same for Thorin... who had become very tired and very irritated by all of it.

* * *

Thorin had finished his paperwork long ago and was now staring at the door of his study as if waiting for it magically open. He sighed heavily and glanced down at the taut tunic that covered his belly. He lifted the fabric and rubbed a large hand over the flesh that housed his and Bilbo's child. "I do not know what to do anymore, little one," Thorin whispered. "Your daddy is also pregnant. And this whole mountain is getting on my last nerves." Thorin sighed again and smiled when he felt a small kick. "Yes, I am here, my strong one. Daddy and I love you very much." Thorin let out a deep chuckle as another kick hit his palm.

To ruin this moment, a knock came from the door, and Thorin, who was in no mood to get up, called for whoever was there to enter.

Kili... and Fili.

"What?" Thorin grumbled, tugging and stretching his tunic down over his exposed stomach.

"Uncle," Kili said in his silly sing-song voice. "Where is thou preggy hobbit?"

Thorin grumbled again and stood slowly from his desk, tying his cloak around his half-covered belly. "He is in our chambers. Why?"

Fili shook his head. "We checked; he isn't there."

Thorin nearly growled in an exasperated tone. "Then check places he is usually at," he huffed. "Why are you coming to me?"

"Because we did all that," Kili explained. "We thought he might be in here with you."

The older dwarf shook his head and tried to keep his worry down. "Maybe he does want to spend time with you two. After all, he needs his rest."

"Like you?" Kili retorted in an accidental harsh tone.

Thorin glared at his youngest nephew as he put his hand on the door knob. "I have mines to oversee," he said flatly. "Please, do not destroy my study in my absence."

"Touchy," Fili whispered to his brother as Thorin closed the door none-too-gently behind him. "Poor Uncle Bilbo."

Kili laughed. "Just wait, it'll be the other way around when Bilbo's all hormonal too."

Fili grimaced at his brother's comment. "Maybe they'll wage a war with each other." He shuddered. "If that happens, I'm moving to the Blue Mountains."

* * *

"Um..." Balin began, approaching the dwarf king who was close to fuming as he entered the private meeting room, which thankfully had no one in it. "Thorin, laddie. I... don't think..."

Thorin growled at the white-haired dwarf as he sat down to relieve his aching feet after having walked around the _entire mountain_ twice. "What?"

"Maybe you should... return to your chambers to... rest...?" Balin shyly and fearfully suggested, shoving his hands into his pockets in a nervous manner.

"A king, no matter his condition, does _not_ rest," Thorin snapped.

Balin nodded. "Right, my Lord. I... was merely suggesting... but..." He paused as Thorin started to get up. "I have to... see how Bombur is doing with the... the... feast! Yes, the feast." Balin barely breathed as Thorin approached him. "I have to go." And with that, the old dwarf dashed out of the room.

Thorin sighed and winced as his sore feet touched the floor. Six more months of this pain was going to be hell. He slowly made his way towards the royal chambers for a well-deserved nap; despite his own disagreements with Balin just now, a good rest did sound nice though these dwarfs would one day be the death of him. Thorin slightly limped towards the chambers after having grumbled and growled at the dwarfs who ogled him as he passed. He was not in any mood for such things, especially after having a hectic day with his own company.

After Dwalin's comment and Fili and Kili's rudeness, Thorin had caught Ori teaching seven dwarflings an ancient elvish song. The dwarf king had done some very unroyalish actions towards the young scholar who only wanted to entertain the young dwarfs; Thorin knew Dwalin would beat him up for it later, but he didn't want these young creatures to know _anything_ of those _selfish, green-loving treeshaggers_. Then, following that incident (which had sent Ori running away in tears), Thorin visited Bombur who was oddly planting something in the ground just outside the mountain.

'What are you doing?' Thorin had asked, standing behind Bombur who was pouring water over the small mounds of dirt.

'Planting seeds,' the rotund dwarf answered. 'Bilbo taught me.'

'I see,' Thorin said. 'And what are you planting?'

'Vegetables,' Bombur replied, hefting himself up off the ground before dusting off his clothes. 'They're good for stew.'

Thorin had grimaced at the thought of his kitchens carrying vegetables. 'Just do not give me any vegetables; it is bad enough Bilbo makes me eat a few.'

Bombur faced the king and nodded, his big green eyes smiling. 'Oh, yes. Vegetables are really healthy for a pregnant dwarf.' The dwarf smiled and patted Thorin's shoulder. 'I best be off now, but-'

'I am the king,' Thorin had retorted, finally wrapping his head around what Bombur just said. 'I will not eat those... those... _things_! And where did you get the seeds, may I ask?'

The rotund dwarf looked down at his feet in fear of meeting his king's gaze. "Mirkwood," he whispered. 'The elves were generous; they gave it to us... well, to Bilbo really..."

Thorin frowned. Why did Bilbo never mention this to him? 'When?' he asked harshly.

'A few weeks ago,' Bombur replied. 'But don't blame me, Your Majesty. Bilbo told me to plant them because he knew you wouldn't let him do it. Oops,' he added in a small voice.

'What...'

'I gotta go,' Bombur said suddenly, noticing the fire within Thorin begin to rise. 'Got stew in the kitchen. Bye!'

After _that_ strange incident, Thorin had continued his rounds through the mountain where he met both Bofur and Gloin walking through the halls together. He had nodded to both and continued on. Unfortunately, seeing how this was not Thorin's day, the floppy-hatted dwarf and the red-headed dwarf decided to follow their king through the mines, both pounding him with questions of his babe and the one that Bilbo was carrying. Thorin had ignored throughout most of the conversation, but when Bofur touched up on how radiant Bilbo was becoming... well, let's just say, Thorin had to be restrained by eight dwarfs while Bofur's eyes went wide with true fear that made Thorin grin and bear his teeth at the other.

All hell was breaking loose...

* * *

Meanwhile in the royal chambers, Bilbo sat in bed with a special book in his lap, one that Thorin had personally got from Dale. When he had received it from his husband a few weeks ago, he was overjoyed that Thorin, himself, had gone to Dale to purchase it just for him; and the book was from a scholar that had been all around Middle Earth, and had clearly spent _many_ years in Rivendell _and_ Mirkwood. Bilbo smiled to himself as he set the book down and rested a hand on his growing belly. He found out from an elf when he went to Mirkwood a few weeks ago that he was in the same month as Thorin was... four months. Unlike Thorin's belly, Bilbo's was a bit smaller and more adorable, as Thorin put it. He was told by the elves that he would deliver a few months before a normal dwarf pregnancy ended. He had been relieved to know that his child was healthy, but was somewhat disturbed when they said dwarvish babes were bigger than hobbit babes and therefore more complications could happen during birth. After that interesting piece of news, Bilbo had gathered by comparing his stomach to Thorin's, that Thorin was most likely carrying a child that was more dwarf than hobbit and Bilbo was carrying one that was more hobbit than dwarf.

Bilbo sighed and set the book down on the bedside table before curling up underneath the heavy furs and closing his eyes.

"_Bilbo!_" came a hurried voice from the door followed by pounding fists. "_Bilbo!_"

"I said it once and I'll say it again," Bilbo grumbled as he threw the furs off and got out of bed. "Dwarfs!" he huffed before opening the door, and much like Bag End, frowning at the pile of dwarfs in the doorway. "What is going on?"

"Thorin, laddie," Balin said shaking his head as he was the only one still standing. "May we come in?"

"I..." Bilbo started, glancing back at the inviting bed.

"Great," Balin finished, stepping over the dwarfs and crushing a few fingers as he entered the room.

Bilbo stared with his mouth slightly open as Balin entered the chambers and hoisted a few dwarfs up. The hobbit stepped aside as Ori, Dori, Bombur, Bofur, Gloin, Fili, Kili, and... Dwalin entered the room after having been helped up. "What... has this to do with Thorin?"

Ori shuddered. "Don't Master Baggins," he said in a small voice. "He... he..."

Bilbo frowned as Ori began to cry. "What happened?" he asked, facing Balin.

The white-haired dwarf shook his head. "I believe we have our stories to tell."

"Very well," Bilbo breathed, rubbing his back in slight stress. "Follow me."

Kili and Fili trailed after their uncle's hobbit. "Where are we going?" they asked in unison as Bilbo began walking down a long hall.

"To a private room to talk," answered Bilbo. "In case Thorin come in, he won't get upset if he sees all of you here."

"Oh," a chorus came from behind Bilbo as he pushed open a door at the end of the hall and watched the nine dwarfs file in.

"I'm not sure he'll come, laddie," Balin said, taking a seat beside his brother who held Ori.

Bilbo scoffed. "Please, he's been walking all around the mountain; he'll be tired." Bilbo closed the door and took a seat that was offered by Kili with a sigh. "Now, what happened?"

* * *

Thorin trudged tiredly to the chamber door and weakly reached for the knob only to find it locked. He sighed and knocked on the door.

Bilbo, who had been engaged in a rather humorous conversation about his husband, had barely heard the knock. He excused himself to see who it was. As he approached the door, he heard Thorin's exhausted voice.

"Bilbo, it's me."

"I'm coming," he answered, opening the door to smile at his tired lover. "Can I help you my King?"

Thorin grumbled and trudged in. "I am tired," he nearly whispered. "I am going to bed."

Bilbo smothered a laugh. "Maybe you shouldn't work so hard for a while." He sat down beside Thorin, who was already down to his small tunic and briefs, and rested a small hand on his lover's belly.

"He kicked today," Thorin mumbled, his eyes already closed.

"He?" Bilbo asked, raising an eyebrow. "Since when do you think it's going to be a boy?"

"I am a Durin..." Thorin yawned. "And Durin's-"

"Faint," Bilbo interrupted and laughed at Thorin's face when the dwarf opened his eyes. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Continue."

"Forget it," Thorin sighed, closing his eyes again.

"No," the hobbit said, getting up and lying next to his dwarf. "No, tell me what you were going to say." He cupped Thorin's bearded face with one hand while he ran the other through the dwarf king's ebony locks. "Thorin?"

But it was too late, Thorin was already asleep. Bilbo smiled and pressed a kiss to his sleeping husband's lips. Whatever happened that day had surely gotten the best of Thorin who rarely admitted he was tired. Bilbo knew the others would let themselves out and so, he snuggled against Thorin, whose back was now to him pulling the heavy furs over their bodies because he knew Thorin would have a fit if anyone saw him wearing his too-small tunic.

Yes, Bilbo did not know what ruckus happened in the mountain; no one told him... but he would soon find out, especially when Thorin woke to remember the part about the seeds.

* * *

**And as you can see, hormonal!Thorin is not done...**

**Be prepared... You have been warned... :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**The last of hormonal!Thorin for a short while ;) Also couldn't resist with a little Fili and Kili :D  
**

**Warning: didn't reread and spell-check. May contain mistakes... :)**

* * *

"Hey," Bilbo said softly, glancing up from his book to see Thorin appear in the doorway. He smiled gently after the dwarf gave him a small, tired smile. "How do you feel?"

Thorin nodded and went towards Bilbo who had gotten up from his chair by the fireplace. "How did you sleep?" he asked, his hands settling on Bilbo's small rounded belly.

"Wonderful," the hobbit answered as he placed his hands over Thorin's. He sighed contently as he watched the pregnant dwarf king gaze at his belly with awe and wonder and just pure love. "Thorin," Bilbo began and received a hum in response. "I told the seamstress of your tunics and she said-"

"What?" Thorin asked, interrupting Bilbo and removing his warm hands from the hobbit's own shirt. "You did what?!"

Bilbo frowned; Thorin was fine a couple seconds ago... what happened? The phrase "Oh no" passed through Bilbo's mind. "I think I'm about to see what the others were so afraid of..." he muttered under his breath before answering his husband. "I said I told the seamstresses that you were in need of new tunics..." He began the sentence with confidence but ended it with slight fear for Thorin's facial expression darkened. "Thorin?"

The dwarf king opened his mouth to speak but nothing left it. He took a few deep breaths before asking, "What?"

"Um, well..." Bilbo began, fiddling with the hem of his shirt underneath his small stomach.

"You think I am fat!" Thorin half-roared and half-wailed (which were quite opposites that made Bilbo feel sorry for the hormonal king). "Don't you, hobbit?!"

Bilbo didn't answer.

"Hobbit!" Thorin growled. "You _do_ think I am fat!"

"No, sweetheart," Bilbo pleaded, reaching for Thorin's hands. "I do not think that at all."

"Then why did you do that?" Thorin asked, pulling his hands away from Bilbo's. "Why did you tell them I need new tunics?"

Bilbo sighed. "Because you _do_ need them. Thorin, I had to."

"No, you didn't!" Thorin whined, covering his face with his hands as he slunk to the floor sobbing uncontrollably. "No..."

"My sweet king," Bilbo said quietly, kneeling beside the shaking dwarf. "I'm sorry; I should have asked you first. I'm sorry, Thorin. It's alright." He put his arms around the pregnant dwarf who thankfully leaned into his touch... only if it was for a little while. "You're okay. It's alright. I'm so sorry, dear." Bilbo soothed his hormonal husband for a few minutes until Thorin pulled back.

Sniffling and wiping his eyes, the dwarf king glowered at Bilbo who slightly frowned. "What were you doing in Mirkwood?" he gritted through his remaining tears, his eyes red-rimmed. "Why did you go there?"

"I-"

"Am I not good enough for you?" Thorin spat. "You fancy some elf, don't you?"

Bilbo shook his head and tried to reach out for the dwarf but failed when his hands were carelessly pushed away. "Thorin..."

"You prefer that _tree-shagger_ over me?!"

"Oh, god. No, Thorin. I don't... I don't..." Bilbo pleaded, successfully taking Thorin's hand in his. "I love you."

"Love?!" Thorin retorted, yanking his hand away and Bilbo's lip quivered. "You couldn't tell me that you went there. You couldn't tell me they gave you seeds. You- Why did _they_ give you seeds?" he asked, his voice harsh and cold.

"To grow vegetables," Bilbo answered, his own voice soft but hurt from his husband's angered glare. "I have had a craving for them. I am so sorry, Thorin. I should have asked you. I'm sorry I upset you."

Thorin let out a frustrated grunt as he buried his face in his hands again; he started to cry again. He flinched slightly when he felt small hands caress his broad shoulders and chest. "D-don't..." he whispered, trying to turn away from Bilbo but the hobbit's hands kept him in place. "Bilbo..." he whined pitifully.

"Thorin, look at me."

The dwarf shook his head and cried harder.

Bilbo took a deep breath to keep his own tears at bay. "Thorin Oakenshield, look at me." Bilbo offered a small smile when Thorin looked up. He brushed away the king's ebony locks as an attempt to soothe his crying husband. "I love you, very much. I would _never_ leave you and our children. Alright?"

Thorin nodded solemnly and wiped his eyes. "I am sorry, my love," he whispered, pressing his forehead against Bilbo's. "I really am."

"I know." Shifting and cradling Thorin's head against his shoulder, Bilbo's hands moved to cup his husband's large belly. "You are so handsome, Thorin. I-" Bilbo paused as he felt something thump against his palm. "Oh!" he exclaimed, pressing his hands against the dwarf king's flesh. "Oh, Thorin! Do you feel it?" he asked with a bright smile on his face.

"I do," Thorin replied, lifting his head to capture Bilbo's parted lips. "I love you," he said as he pulled away. His hands began to caress Bilbo's small stomach though the hobbit was still awed by their kicking babe. He leaned forward and his mouth found Bilbo's soft neck; the halfling giggled as Thorin's beard tickled him.

"Thorin, stop it," he laughed, lifting his shoulders to make Thorin stop. He pressed his index finger into the dwarf's taut skin, and Thorin pulled away.

"That tickles," he grinned, grasping Bilbo's elbows and pulling his husband up as he, himself, stood. "Come, my love." Thorin smiled as Bilbo slid his small hand into his larger one. "Let us officially retire for the night."

* * *

Sometime in the night, Bilbo stretched and stood from the bed rubbing his growing belly as he did. He let out a contented grunt as he walked into the kitchen in search of food. And like most days when Bilbo dealt with a hormonal Thorin (that most likely ended up being hungry in the end), there was none. He sighed and rubbed his stomach. "I guess I have to wake your father," he breathed, climbing back into bed and shaking Thorin's shoulder. "Dwarf. Dwarf," he whispered into Thorin's ear. "Dwarf, get up."

Thorin grumbled and shifted to face Bilbo; his eyes still closed.

"Dwarf," Bilbo repeated, shaking Thorin's shoulder a bit harder. "Wake up."

"W-what?" Thorin asked groggily. "Bilbo..."

"Dwarf king. Up. Now."

"Hobbit, go away," Thorin grumbled, hugging his pillow and pulling the heavy furs over his head. "I am tired."

"And I am hungry," Bilbo replied, poking Thorin's arm.

Thorin sighed heavily and opened one eye to see a pouting Bilbo protruding his bottom lip. "Fine, I will get up," he assured his hobbit. Slowly but surely, Thorin sat up, stood, and grabbed his royal cloak as he headed for the chamber door. "What do you want?" he asked Bilbo when his husband stood next to him.

Bilbo flushed and looked away, but Thorin held him still. "Um... carrots, tomatoes, and... onions..." he said sheepishly, glancing at his husband who nodded tiredly. "Please," he added.

"Of course," Thorin replied. "I will be back."

* * *

In due time, Thorin returned with a plate of carrots, tomatoes, and onions for Bilbo and a large biscuit for himself. He set the plate down and called for Bilbo which then, the hobbit came running into the room with a grin on his face when he caught sight of the plate. "What?" Thorin asked, smiling and taking a bit of his biscuit.

"Oh, this is soooo good," Bilbo gasped, shoving the food into his mouth. "Thank you so much, Thorin."

"You are very welcome, my dear hobbit."

Bilbo saw the biscuit in Thorin's hand and smiled. "You were hungry too?" he asked, giggling when Thorin gave him a look.

"It is torture when your spouse asks you for food and you have to stand there where Bombur is making it," Thorin complained with a light smile on his face. "I got hungry," he said, glancing down at his belly. "I could not help it."

"I know the feeling," Bilbo agreed. "So," he began after swallowing his tenth bite. "What are we going to do?"

"About?" Thorin asked with his mouth full of bread.

"Our... our... children..." Bilbo said, motioning to their pregnant bellies. "What is going to happen?"

Thorin nodded slowly. "I am still working on that."

"Really?" Bilbo asked while giving Thorin a knowing glare; he knew the dwarf didn't even think about the babes after their respective births. "Thorin?" he said, raising a thin auburn eyebrow. "Really?"

"N-no..." Thorin answered quietly, his mouth forming a sheepish grin. "Sorry."

"Ugh! Thorin..." Bilbo exclaimed. "We really need to talk about this."

Thorin swallowed the last of his biscuit before gently grabbing his husband's shoulders. "We will talk and get this settled; we have time, Bilbo. We have time." He smiled softly when Bilbo nodded and leaned his head against the dwarf's chest. "Do not fret, dear halfling."

Bilbo pulled back and smiled at Thorin who kissed his nose. With small and gentle hands, Bilbo untied Thorin's cloak and watched he dwarf shrug out of it until he was left with only his briefs. Unable to hold back, Bilbo grabbed Thorin's face and pressed their lips together for a passionate, carrot, tomato, onion, and biscuit kiss. He moaned as Thorin pressed into him; their bellies touching and sort of making it difficult for their contact, but Thorin put an end to that by slowly lowering them both onto the floor. "Th-Thorin..." Bilbo moaned as Thorin planted light kisses on his collarbone then chest. "P-please."

"Please what?" Thorin rasped, his beard scratching Bilbo's belly after Thorin discarded the shirt. "Hobbit?"

"I-I-I..." Bilbo panted, lacing his arms around Thorin's neck and latching his mouth onto the dwarf's chest. He smiled as Thorin let out a low growl of pleasure.

"What is it you want, Bilbo?"

"Y-you..." the hobbit whispered, his mouth tugging on the others ear. "Ohh..." He pressed himself against Thorin's hard arousal and smiled when the sturdy dwarf king let out a sudden moan of need. Bilbo's hands found the breeches' laces and began to tug at the material. He didn't get far as both dwarf and hobbit heard an ungodly scream.

Thorin let out a loud sigh.

"MY EYES!" Fili shouted, running out the chamber, slamming the door behind him.

"You could have at least waited for me!" Kili yelled after his brother. "Here!" he said, his arm appearing in the doorway of his uncles' chambers while the rest of him was pressed up against a wall to shield his eyes. "Take it!"

"Kili, just set it down," Thorin grunted, trying to stand up; the adrenaline after his and Bilbo's actions leaving him and being replaced with fatigue.

"It's breakable!" Kili answered, waving the 'breakable' object around.

"Alright, alright," Thorin grumbled. "I am coming."

"Eww!" the young dwarf said. "Don't say that! That's just _gross_!" He waved the object around until on one of the waves, it hit something soft. "Take it!"

Thorin grasped the object and turned it over. _Thorin & Bilbo_ were the words engraved on it. "What is it?" he asked Kili.

"Mother sent it," he answered. "She says it's a gift for you and Bilbo and... those two," he said, waving his hand at nothing in particular, but Thorin knew what he referred to. "Those two... dwobbits!"

"What?" Thorin asked as he handed Bilbo the box.

Bilbo gasped at the jewel-encrusted oak box with their names carved onto the top of it. "It's beautiful," he said, leaning on Thorin who wrapped his arm around the hobbit.

"The word or the box?" Kili asked.

"The box," Bilbo answered. "But what did you say?"

Kili huffed. "I called your... kids dwobbits."

"What are dwobbits?" Thorin asked.

"Are you two clothed or am I going to go blind?" Kili asked, hesitantly inching into the doorway.

Thorin grumbled but grabbed his cloak and covered himself, while Bilbo reached for his own discarded night gown.

"Phew!" Kili sighed as he face both Bilbo and Thorin. "A dwobbit," he said. "It's quite simple. A hobbit and a dwarf equals..." He pointed to his uncles' stomach and said, "Dwobbit!"

Thorin chuckled and shook his head at his youngest nephew. "Kili, Kili, Kili..."

"What," the young dwarf replied. "All I said was that you two will have two dwobbits... What's so funny?"

"Nothing Kili," Thorin answered, hugging his nephew. "Nothing at all."

Bilbo laughed as Kili's face was squished in Thorin's embrace. "Thorin, let the boy go."

"Fili..." Kili weakly called. "Help me."

"I AIN'T GOIN' BACK IN THERE!" Fili shouted, and Thorin and Bilbo laughed while Kili finally gave in and hugged his uncle in return.


	9. Chapter 9

Bilbo walked through the halls of Erebor in search of his five-month-pregnant husband who had not been seen for a good two days. He passed several dwarfs who whispered secretly and froze when Bilbo glared at them. On his way down one of the long halls, he spotted Dwalin speaking with Ori against the wall of the wide hall. Groaning inwardly, Bilbo decided he'll just have to interrupt the two lovebirds in order to get information on his missing husband. "Excuse me," he said politely, stopping in front of the two dwarfs.

"Yes, Bilbo?" Ori spoke first though his cheeks were bright red from being caught.

"Have you seen Thorin?"

"The pregnant king?" Dwalin joked before he thought for a long minute. "No, I... actually... haven't seen him. Why?"

Bilbo huffed. Why do you _think_ I'm asking you? he wanted to say to the older dwarf, but he knew that wouldn't give him any answers. "I haven't seen him since the... the day... Fili said he would permanently scar _us_ with the love of his life... that is if he ever _finds_ one..."

Ori raised an eyebrow. "Someone's in a bad mood today."

"Well, it happens when your husband disappears for two days without a single damn word!" Bilbo puffed, placing his hands on his slim hips before glaring at Dwalin.

"And the lack of sleep won't help," Ori said quietly, patting Bilbo's shoulder before returning to the library, leaving his lover to handle the irate pregnant hobbit. "Goodbye Dwalin. I shall see you later." With that, the scribe quickly left the area in case of a hobbit-y explosion.

"Dwalin," Bilbo began calmly. "Where is he?"

"I don't know," Dwalin argued but quickly changed his mind when Bilbo took one large and very intimidating step towards him. "Uh, uh... did you check in his study?"

"I did."

"How about..." Dwalin thought as fast as he possibly could. "Uh... Balin!" he called to his brother as the white-haired dwarf came striding down the hall. "Where is... uh, Thorin?"

"Thorin..." Balin frowned and Bilbo let out a frustrated cry. "Oh, laddie," he said, noticing the hobbit standing there with his face in his hands. "You should not be up. If Thorin sees you-"

"Where is he?!" Bilbo breathed, resting his hands on his protruding stomach as an effort to calm.

"Well, let's not worry," Balin reasoned, glancing at his brother for help and all he received was a mere shrug. "He's the king-"

"That is part of why I am worried here," Bilbo cut in as he leaned against the stone wall. "What if... what if..." He didn't finish the sentence as he began to fear the worst. What if Thorin is hurt? What if his husband and unborn child need help? Bilbo sighed heavily. Where is... Thorin.

Thorin.

"Thorin!" Bilbo seethed, glaring daggers at the king who slowly approached the small group. "Where have you been?! Why weren't you in our chambers last night _and_ the night before?! Where were you?! I was worried _sick_! I thought something happened to you! Thorin! I-"

"Bilbo," Thorin said, raising his voice to be heard over the hobbit's rant. "Bilbo, calm down." The dwarf gently rubbed the puffing hobbit's arms until his husband calmed. "Let me explain, B-"

"Please do."

Thorin sighed heavily and winced slightly.

"What's wrong?" Bilbo asked suddenly, the anger completely gone from him. "Are you hurt? Thorin?"

"Laddie?" Balin added, coming to the other side of the dwarf king.

"No, I am fine," Thorin answered though Bilbo noted he rubbed the underside of his belly. "I am just-"

"Having contractions because you are too stressed," Dwalin finished, shaking his head at his longtime friend. "I thought you knew better, Thorin. Didn't Gloin's cousin's miscarriage teach you anything? "

"What?" Bilbo asked, glancing from Thorin to Dwalin to Balin and to Thorin again. "Thorin?" He gently reached for Thorin's hand on the underside of his belly and was speechless to feel a small ripple along with several kicks. "Thorin..."

"Come on, laddie," Dwalin said, grabbing Thorin's arm and nodding at Balin to grab the other. "Let's get ya back to the chambers."

* * *

"Thorin?" Bilbo asked softly, brushing his husband's long silvery and black strands from his face as the dwarf winced as he shifted slightly in bed.

Dwalin and Balin had not only _walked_ the dwarf king to the royal chambers, but they also _shredded_ him of his armor and _forced_ him into bed. Bilbo had been a witness to Thorin's pain for the dwarf had doubled over twice and clung to his stomach as whatever was happening happened. Bilbo felt powerless seeing his husband in pain. Then, again, he started to feel a bit scared... If Thorin felt this... this pain, what would he, himself, feel when it came time to birth the child... or dwobbit as Kili put it. Bilbo shuddered at the thought. After Dwalin and Oin left, Bilbo pulled Balin aside.

'What happened?' he had asked the white-haired dwarf.

Balin had given him a sympathetic look. 'Try not blame him, laddie. He didn't do it on purpose.'

'Do _what_?' Bilbo hissed.

'Since Thorin is king, he really can't avoid it,' Balin had explained before taking a deep breath. 'In dwarven history, when extreme pressure and stress is placed upon the one who carries the dwarfling, contractions will happen and there comes..." He glanced at Bilbo, whose brow was creased with concern for Thorin, with solemn eyes. 'There comes the possibility of... losing the babe.'

Bilbo looked taken aback. 'Why wouldn't he mention this before?'

'He didn't want you to worry,' Balin answered, patting Bilbo's shoulder before he, too, left the chambers.

Bilbo took time in gathering his thoughts before crawling into bed beside his husband. Thorin, who had been in the middle of a twinge of pain, snapped at Bilbo for moving the bed. The hobbit froze in his spot until the pain had passed through the dwarf before he continued to lay beside his husband. Now, he sat by Thorin's back with his own back against the headboard while gently caressing Thorin's forehead.

"Thorin?" Bilbo asked again when he had gotten no reply. "Are you alright?"

"Mmpfh."

"Are you alright?" the hobbit repeated, shifting to lay his and upon Thorin's larger hand. "Thorin?"

"Mmpfhine," Thorin grumbled, moving his hand to cover Bilbo's before he brought the hobbit's hand to the spot where their babe was kicking.

"Oh!" Bilbo gasped, scooting to lean over Thorin's back to get a better feel. A smile grew on his face as he heard Thorin chuckle. "What?" he asked, giving the dwarf king a small glance before becoming intrigued again by their kicking babe.

"You are always so awed by the babe," Thorin said thickly, the pain he once had still lingering slightly.

"Well, if you would feel my belly," Bilbo said, giggling at the kicks against his palm. "You'd be the same way."

"Come," Thorin commanded gently, not in any mood to move at the moment. "Let me feel."

"He's not active right now," the hobbit replied. "Later."

Thorin raised a thick eyebrow. "'_He_'?" he asked, craning his head to look at his hobbit husband. "Since when do you think it will be a boy?"

Bilbo playfully shoved the dwarf's shoulder. "Shut it," he laughed. "I don't want to call our child an 'it' or a 'this'."

"I see," Thorin agreed, closing his eyes and sighing deeply. Soon his snores filled the room, and Bilbo smiled softly as he gazed at his pregnant dwarf. Thorin had become so radiant... well, more handsome than Bilbo ever thought was possible. The babe brought this glow to his dwarf king that caused Bilbo to think of his stern and gruff husband as adorable and cute. Bilbo sighed and contently settled behind his husband before he, too, drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Laddie. Laddie," Balin called, shaking Bilbo's shoulder.

"What is it?" Bilbo mumbled, opening his eyes slowly and blinking at the white-haired dwarf. "What is it, Balin?"

"Dinner is in ten minutes and you two haven't gotten up," Balin said as he moved to the other side of the bed and pushed a fearful Kili aside before waking Thorin up as well. "Up you two. Dinner is almost ready, and if you remember, two special guests will be there and it will be-"

"Horribly rude if Thranduil and Bard have to put up with, not only a hormonally-charged dwarf _and_ hobbit but, both the King and his Consort at being late for dinner; an _important_ dinner at that," Kili interrupted, hoping his antics would rouse his uncles faster. Seeing how they didn't work, he decided to take drastic measures in getting both dwarf and hobbit up pronto. "Mind you, Thranduil wants a private tour of the Mount-"

"I'm up!" Thorin said, sitting up in bed and glaring at Kili before shaking Bilbo's shoulder. "Halfling, come."

"Again with the words!" Kili huffed, throwing his hands up and grumbling something about his uncles planning on scarring him and his brother for life.

"It was just one word," Thorin argued, stretching after he stood.

Kili rolled his eyes. "But one word can have _many_ meanings."

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Kili," Bilbo grumbled as he reached for his coat while Thorin got dressed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Fair warning: Didn't reread so there might be mistakes! Other than that, ENJOY!**

* * *

Bite. Chew. Swallow. Bite. Chew. Swallow. Bite. Chew. Swallow.

Kili kept telling himself this over and over again as he sat at the long table in the dining hall eating his food while staring at the creature across from him. The creature, he kept thinking, was very, very handsome, and he knew no other creature in Middle Earth could hold his heart better than the person sitting right across from him. Sure as heir to the throne, he was supposed to be paying attention to his uncle's conversation with Thranduil and Bard, but now was not the time for such silly meetings. A crush was to be goggled over.

Zoning in and out of the world around him, Kili made an effort to eat his food while looking attractive at the same time... though, deep down, he knew the person he loved dearly would never see him the way he saw them. It just didn't seem right in Erebor.

"Two dwarflings," Kili heard Bard say to Thorin through his own cloud of misery. "That _is_ a gift."

Seemingly out of nowhere, Kili began to choke on the food he was chewing. All eyes flew to him as he struggled to maintain his cool. He focused on his plate and winced as Dwalin, next to him, slapped his back hard and ignored Fili's look of concern as the dwarf sat across from him. "F-fine..." he managed after a few more coughs. "I'm fine, Dwalin," he said loudly, wanting the warrior dwarf to stop hitting him. "Just a little-"

"Pig," Thranduil whispered to Bard, and both Elf and Man snickered.

"Excuse me?" Bilbo squeaked, having heard the Elf's comment. "How dare you insult my family."

Thranduil looked down at the hobbit with a trace of a grin on his lips. "Calm yourself, Hobbit. These barbaric dwarfs are not at all from the Shire; do not call them your family when they most certainly aren't."

The room fell silent as most of the company stared at their plates, ready for the impending explosion from either their king, hobbit, or both. Kili's eyes reluctantly met Fili's and both exchanged frightened glances. Dwalin and Balin scooted their chairs away from the Elf and Man, while Oin announced that he was needed in the infirmary. Bombur retreated to the kitchens, and Bofur went outside to keep his cousin Bifur, as a guard at the door, company. Gloin, Dori, Nori, and Ori had no places to be so they all stayed put where they were, trying to keep down the urge to run out of the room.

As silent as the large room was, each of its members were able to hear the low rumble of a deadly and menacing growl leave the dwarf king whose face held nothing short of pure hatred for the two creatures that had just insulted his nephew and had talked _down_ to his consort.

"What did you say?" Thorin gritted, glowering at Thranduil.

"Oh, dear," the elf said, feigning hurt. "Does pregnancy make you deaf? I said this hobbit has no family here with all you pigs."

"Thorin," Bilbo whispered in a small pleading voice, resting a hand on the dwarf king's thigh in an effort to calm his irate husband. "Don't."

A harsh breath of air left the dwarf king's flared nostrils as he managed to calm underneath Bilbo's warm hand. After a few seconds, he nodded. "Very well," he said in a rather tight voice. "But if you insult my consort or my family again, I'll have-"

Bilbo cleared his throat, knowing what Thorin was going to say next.

"I will call off all alliances with you and your men," he said as he kept his voice stiff, referring to Thranduil and Bard.

Thranduil stiffened but smiled nonetheless. "Alright," he replied. "Do as you see fit. You are birthing two dwarflings, I cannot imagine how a little elf and man such as us could possibly get on your nerves. It is as if you are saying you _hate_ your own children."

According to Kili, who had been attempting to slide underneath the table, if Thorin wasn't fuming then, he was, now, on the verge of a very, hormonal, rage-filled, sword-fighting, why-I-oughta-rip-this-guy-in-half outburst. Kili hesitantly glanced at Thorin and felt fear clench him as he had never seen his uncle's eyes so black with pure anger. "I think we better do something," he whispered to Fili across the table. "Like now."

Fili nodded and stood from his seat, bravely crossing the room until he stood beside his uncles. "Bilbo," he mouthed over Thorin's shoulder and just out of Thranduil and Bard's view.

The hobbit, who looked as if he were on the verge of tears, glanced up at the dwarf prince with his brows furrowed in question.

"Let's go," Fili mouthed, pointing towards the door.

Bilbo nodded and made a move to stand from his seat when Thorin caught his hand. The hobbit flinched at the darkness of his husband's eyes. "I have to go," he whispered tearfully. "I don't want be here." Thankfully and reluctantly, Thorin released his hand and let Bilbo stand. "Protect us," he whispered into the dwarf's ear before he, Fili, and Kili left the dining hall.

* * *

"How did it go?" Bilbo asked quietly, rubbing his belly as Thorin entered their bedroom, his eyes still black with rage. "Thorin?" he tried, seeing his pregnant husband sit on the edge of the bed. "Are you feeling alright?" Bilbo asked, fearing those awful pains had returned to his dwarf.

"No, Halfling," Thorin said quietly. "I am not."

"Wh-what did you do... to them?" Bilbo asked cautiously, sitting up in bed and tugging a strand of Thorin's hair to make the dwarf lay back. He scooted by the dwarf king, who was too tired to move, and pressed Thorin's large hand to the spot where their child was kicking Bilbo's skin.

"What..." Thorin said tiredly, shifting to cradle his husband's belly as he became utterly awed by their babe.

"See?" Bilbo observed, quirking an eyebrow. "You are so awed by the babe too."

A broad grin spread across Thorin's face as he began to sing to their children, both of which were active at the moment. He sang in deep tones and smiled as their moving children calmed and rested as he and Bilbo were about to. After a few minutes of silence between them once the song ended, Thorin sighed heavily. "I did not do anything to them," he said quietly, laying down on his side as he faced Bilbo. "I couldn't."

"Why?" Bilbo asked, brushing a stray strand of silver and black hair from Thorin's face.

"Dwalin and Nori beat me to it," he replied, rubbing the underside of his stomach.

Bilbo offered Thorin a comforting smile. "Well, I am sure their king would have torn those filthy creatures limb from limb had he not been in his current condition."

Thorin chuckled. "I would have, Âzyungâl," he replied. "Thank you, Bilbo."

The hobbit frowned. "Whatever for?"

"For keeping me sane, putting up with me, and loving me," Thorin declared with a grin on his face.

Bilbo laughed at his dwarf. "Alright, Thorin. Number one, you are pregnant, therefore you are _not_ sane. Number two, I have been putting up with you since that day we met at Bag End. And number three, I will _always_ love you not matter how insane and hormonal you get." He leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to his husband's temple.

Thorin groaned.

"What is it?" Bilbo asked, cupping Thorin's face. "Are you in pain?"

Thorin groaned again.

"My lovely dwarf king," Bilbo began, fearing his husband's twinges had returned. "What is it?"

To add to Bilbo's worry, Thorin groaned again.

"Thorin Oaken-"

"I'm fine," the dwarf interrupted, blindly reaching for the fur blankets to cover himself with.

Bilbo tsked. "No, no," he scolded, tapping Thorin's hand to let go of the blankets. "Up. Change. Then come."

Thorin grumbled but did as he was told and was soon in bed beside his pregnant hobbit who held a book in his hands. "Reading?" Thorin groaned. "Bilbo..."

"Hush," Bilbo said. "Go to sleep. A pregnant dwarf king is to rest and not be-"

"Utterly upset in the morning because his hobbit won't put down this book and... dare I say... _cuddle_ with his own dwarf?" Thorin finished, receiving a glare and a soft punch from Bilbo. "What? You know it's true, Âzyungâl."

"I know," Bilbo huffed, setting the book down on the bedside table before snuggling underneath the furs that Thorin held open. He sighed contently as he cuddled into Thorin's warmth and heat and love and...

"Thorin?" he asked, shifting his body away from the dwarf's arousal. "Really?"

"I am sorry!" Thorin whined, knowing he couldn't get what he wanted and what he wanted wasn't going to let him have it. "I... can't help it... You are so beautiful and I..."

"Have needs," Bilbo said, trailing a finger down Thorin's chest.

"Don't Bilbo..."

"Don't what, Thorin?" Bilbo asked innocently, shifting to place a string of kisses over Thorin's jawline. "Tempt you... Seduce you... Want you..." he said in between kisses.

Thorin groaned.

Bilbo giggled. "That is why you have been groaning." He smirked and pulled Thorin closer. "Well, Dwarf. I have some very good news for you."

"What?"

"I want you..." Bilbo whispered into the dwarf king's ear, and Thorin could only happily comply.


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you for the reviews! There is some bonding in here! I was so proud of myself! :D  
**

**Enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

Kili fiddled with the laces on his tunic as he paced in front of Fili's bedroom door where the blond dwarf was currently sleeping. The brunette breathed deeply and tried to form a line in his thoughts while trying not to wear an actual line in the floor. Using his hands, he tried to reason with himself and make conversation with an imaginary Fili. "Listen, brother," he began lightly. "I know this is going to sound weird... No, I can't say it like that," Kili groaned, slapping his forehead. "Um, Fili... I... uh... I need to speak with you about... us..." He grumbled. "Yeah, it sounds like I'm breaking up with you and not asking you out..." Kili leaned against the wooden door of the bedroom. "Oh, please Fili..." he sighed. "Just listen to what I have to say..."

"What _do_ you have to say?" Fili asked as he opened the door.

"Oh!" Kili exclaimed hurriedly, falling backwards and flushing as Fili caught him.

"Are you feeling alright?" the blond dwarf asked, heaving Kili up.

Kili quickly jumped upright and took a few steps back from his brother. "I... uh... I'm fine..."

Fili nodded slowly, eyeing Kili up and down. "I see," he said unconvincingly. "And what is it you wanted me to listen to?"

"Oh... that... uh... I..." the brunette dwarf rung his hands together as he looked at the floor, thinking of words to say. "Fili," he breathed, closing his eyes and praying this would all end well. "I want you to know that... I don't... see you as... just a... b-brother..."

The other frowned. "What are you talking about, Kii?" he asked, stepping forward and placing the back of his hand on Kili's forehead. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Kili waved his brother's hand away and took a deep breath. "What I am trying to say is... that... I... l-love you... Fili."

"And I love you, brother," Fili said, the frown growing slightly. "Do you need to see Oin? Have you hit your head? Did you not get enough sleep?" Fili stepped forward again after Kili stepped back. "What is wrong with you? You don't look sick, but are you?"

Kili's shoulders slumped and tears came to his brown eyes.

"Kii," Fili soothed, coming closer to Kili and taking his brother's hands in his own. "What is wrong? I will listen to you."

"I am trying to tell you," Kili said. "Just listen to me, Fii."

Fili nodded. "I will."

The younger dwarf took another deep breath. "I love you, Fili... and not the same way you do me." He waited for a reaction but all Fili did was frown again. "I want to be more than your... b-brother... if that is alright with you..."

Fili stood stalk still at Kili's confession. "What?" he rasped through his dry throat as the words Kili said sunk into his mind. "I... don't understand..."

"I love you as a l-lover..." Kili said quietly, his heart beating a thousand times a minute.

The blond stared at him as if he had grown another head. "I... I..." He shook his head, and a single tear fell from Kili's brown eyes. "I... can't..."

"I knew it!" Kili cried, turning and running from the chambers to anywhere but there.

* * *

Kili ran blindly through the mountain, desperately trying to get away from his brother who he thought hated him after that. He carelessly bumped into dwarfs and knocked over little dwarflings as they walked beside their mothers. "Fili will never understand me," he cried as his legs kept moving and his heart kept racing. He wanted to run until he could no longer. He wanted to rid himself of these feelings. He wanted everything that just happened to go away and leave him alone. But he wanted Fili to understand how he couldn't look at his brother the same way anymore. He wanted his brother to feel the same way...

"That will never happen, Kii," Kili heard Fili's voice say in his head. "We are brothers; nothing more."

"Nothing more!" Kili shouted, coming to a stop and pounding on a large wooden door.

"Enter," came a voice from inside the room.

Kili wasted no time in pushing the door open and glaring at Thorin who eyed him warily. "You," he seethed, stepping into the study and closing the door with a bang. "You and Mum raised us to believe that we could _survive_ and _conquer everything_... and now..."

Thorin hefted himself from his chair. "What happened?" he asked, slightly limping towards Kili (the effects from the many continuous nights before still lingering). He stretched out his sore body as he waited for an answer.

"I told that someone that I..." Kili sighed heavily. "Fine, I told Fili I liked him..." He hesitantly glanced up at Thorin who had folded his arms on top of his belly and was waiting patiently for Kili to continue. "I... I told him that right now... and he... he told me he can't..."

"He can't what?" Thorin asked, sitting down on a comfy seat with a mild groan, his back muscles aching from doing nothing... well, almost nothing if you count what happened the night before and the night before that.

"I... don't... really know," Kili said sheepishly, plopping down beside Thorin who shifted to relieve the immediate pressure in his back from the babe. "I didn't... let him finish... I guess..." He glanced at Thorin who had his eyes closed. "Are you alright?" he asked.

Thorin nodded and opened his eyes. "Just uncomfortable," he replied, rubbing his belly to soothe and hopefully move the babe from its current position against his spine.

"You know you shouldn't be working this late," Kili said, hesitantly pressing his hand against Thorin's tight belly. "Does the babe kick?"

"Yes, very much right now," Thorin gritted, shifting again.

Kili's face lightened. "Really?" he asked excitedly. "Where?" He put both his palms on Thorin's stomach and followed Thorin's larger hand to the spot where the babe was kicking. "Oh, it-"

Thorin cleared his throat.

"The _dwobbit_ kicks a lot," Kili tried again, correcting his mistake with a smile on his face. "I cannot believe Bilbo did this... but I can believe _you_ doing this to _him_... but not this way..." The young dwarf continued to touch his uncle's taut belly as Thorin groaned in relief as the babe shifted after being lodged in the same place for nearly three hours.

"Ah," Thorin sighed, shifting one last time before resting his arm on the armchair, setting his head on his palm, and closing his eyes.

"Are you tired, Uncle?" Kili asked, raising a brown eyebrow as Thorin opened his eyes to glare. "Too much work last night? I heard you... and I'm pretty sure the whole mountain heard you."

"Kili..." Thorin grumbled, getting leverage from the seat before pushing himself up. "What are you going to do about Fili?" he asked, slightly limping back towards his desk.

"Uncle?" Kili asked instead of answering.

"Y-yes," the dwarf king sighed heavily, gathering his papers and stacking them on his desk.

Kili rung his hands together and shyly looked at Thorin. "Is it common for two male dwarfs to court each other...?"

"Is it common for a male dwarf to court a male hobbit?" Thorin asked, raising an eyebrow and taking a few papers in his hands. "I would dare say yes. Yes it is common for two male dwarfs to court each other." Thorin continued to watch his nephew closely. "Kili, our race does not have many female dwarfs, that is why male dwarfs can conceive. Is... is this what you have been worried about? That you would not be accepted?"

Kili had the decency to nod solemnly.

Thorin sighed and shook his head. "Kili, you have nothing to be ashamed of; you know your family will love you no matter what."

"But... but he's my _brother_."

"That doesn't matter," Thorin said, coming to stand beside his nephew. "What matters is how you feel in here," he said, resting his hand against Kili's chest, over his heart. "And if you feel more than your natural bond, then go for it."

"And if he doesn't return it?" Kili asked, turning his face to hide his tears.

"Then by all means skin him," Thorin chuckled before apologizing when he saw Kili's face. "I am sorry, Kili. I live with a hobbit; I am entitled to some humor."

Kili cracked a smile at his uncle's words. "Is living with Bilbo interesting?"

Thorin let out a whimperish grunt. "W-well, I am hiding from him right now..."

"Hiding?! Uncle, hiding? What?" Kili joked, smiling at Thorin. "What did you do? Call him fat?"

"Just about," Thorin said, patting Kili's shoulder and heading towards the door. "And he took it differently; I was kicked out of our chambers. And I am not risking returning there for a while."

"Then where are you going?" the young dwarf asked.

"To the kitchens," Thorin answered just before his stomach growled loudly. "Sorry, I'm hungry."

"That makes two of us," Kili said, smiling widely. "Get it. Two of us. Me. The dwobbit. Oh, Uncle! You are _so_ funny."

Thorin chuckled and closed his study door after Kili walked out. "So, what are you going to do about Fili?"

Kili sighed heavily. "I don't know..." he said honestly, shaking his head slowly. "Maybe I'll go down the archery ring and figure things out... just like you going to the kitchens."

Thorin glared at him. "Hush, and go," he replied, cringing slightly as his stomach growled again. Grumbling and grunting, Thorin watched Kili leave while he rubbed his large belly softly before turning on his heel and heading for the kitchens... where Bilbo would find him later with deer bones, tea, ham pieces, and bread crumbs.

* * *

"That..." Kili grunted releasing an arrow and watching it stick into a tree. "Is for not answering!" He picked up another arrow. "And this-"

"Why are you mad at me?" Fili asked, stepping out from behind the spot he had been hiding in. "Is this about your confession to me... about that... I love you... nonsense?"

Kili's heart broke even further as he heard his brother say 'nonsense'. He gave Fili the cold shoulder and went about shooting arrows as if Fili wasn't there. His strategy worked for a while until he could feel Fili's pulsing presence at his side. "What do you want?" he asked coldly, releasing another arrow and watching it cut a poor plant in half.

"I wanted to talk to you about our short conversation earlier," Fili said, picking up the bag of arrows Kili was using.

"Give me those," Kili argued, setting his bow down and reaching for the bag. "Fii!"

Fili tsked. "Ah, ah. Not until you tell me what you were trying to say this morning."

"No," Kili grunted, grabbing air as Fili moved the bag. "Fili!"

"If you want them, come and get them," the blond dwarf said, raising the bag over his head before running away from Kili who grumbled before chasing after Fili. "Curse you, Fii. Stop. I don't want to do this..."

"Tell me what you were trying to say earlier," Fili replied, stopping and walking towards Kili. "We're brothers, and I want to know what is bothering you. I tried to make sense of what you had said after you left, and I couldn't think straight... I... have something to say as well, but you go first."

"W-well, what were you going to say?" Kili asked, stalling so he could think of an answer.

"I asked you first," Fili said, putting the bag of arrows down and grasping his brother's shoulders. "Tell me, Kii. I will listen to you, just like I always have."

Kili slowly looked up into Fili's blue eyes and nearly choked on his words when he saw concern and caring and... love in his brother's eyes. Gulping before taking a deep breath, Kili nodded to himself. _I am going to do this. I am going to do this. And nothing can stop me._ Slowly, Kili twined his arms around Fili's neck, leaned, and softly pressed his lips to Fili's own before pulling back to stare down, at the ground, before his brother's shocked face in shame. "I..."

Fili put his finger underneath Kili's chin and brought the dwarf's head up until their eyes met. "Don't," he choked before taking a deep breath. "Don't apologize..."

Kili's dark brown eyes brightened.

"I... I understand... and..." Unable to finish his sentence, Fili captured Kili's moist lips in the most heated kiss he had ever experienced, and Kili couldn't be happier.

* * *

Bilbo wiped his eyes free of tears as he sat down across the small table from his pregnant husband. "I'm sorry," he muttered, taking a piece of bread from Thorin's plate and nibbling on it. "I didn't mean to kick you out of our chambers."

"And _I_ didn't mean to hurt you," Thorin replied, continuing to eat more ham after the pile of finished food was pushed to his side. "I do not know how we do it."

"What? Put up with each other?" Bilbo asked, sharing Thorin's tea.

"Yes," Thorin answered, gently smiling at his hobbit who scooted closer to him. "Are you hungry?"

"A little," Bilbo admitted, sneaking a piece of ham from his dwarf's plate. He shook his head when Thorin pushed him his plate. "No, you eat. I'll just-"

"Master Baggins?" a stout female dwarf asked, walking into the small room. "Would you like something to eat?"

Bilbo shook his head. "Oh, no. I am-"

"Yes," Thorin replied for him. "Please, Merlyn."

Merlyn nodded and returned to the kitchen.

"Thorin..." Bilbo whined, glaring at the dwarf king. "I said no."

"But you _are_ hungry," Thorin replied. "You keep stealing from my plate."

Bilbo smiled and leaned into Thorin's arm. "But you let me, and I... I'm hungry..."

Thorin chuckled and wrapped his arm around Bilbo before kissing his hobbit's auburn curls. "I love you, Bilbo. Know that." He shifted to let Bilbo eat after a plate of food was placed in front of the hobbit. "And I cannot wait until we have our beautiful children."

"Dwobbits, my love," Bilbo corrected with a mouthful of onions, smiling as Thorin cringed at the vegetable. His smile grew as he kissed the cringe from his dwarf's face. "Worth your hate for onions?"

Thorin licked his lips after the kiss. "Yes, it is always worth it." he said, reaching over and cupping Bilbo's small belly. "Is he active today?"

Bilbo nodded. "Very," he said with a groan. "I don't know how my relatives can have multiple children... I can barely handle one."

Thorin got a sheepish look to him. "Sorry, that would be my fault there."

"Oh, do not worry," Bilbo said, sipping his tea. "I got you pregnant, so we're even."

"Even in time or even in size?" Thorin joked, putting the last piece of juicy ham in his mouth.

"Shut it," Bilbo laughed, playfully pushing the dwarf king's shoulder. "Even in time, if you wish to know."

Thorin watched Bilbo eat his meal in silence though he would occasionally touch and caress his husband softly as he ate. Currently, his hands were kneading the tight skin at Bilbo's lower back, the similar place where he had his own pain earlier. He grinned as Bilbo moaned and leaned into his touch.

"Stop it," Bilbo mumbled, trying to pull away from the dwarf's hands. "I need to finish my food."

To his surprise, Thorin's hands left him, and Bilbo felt warm sapphire eyes on him. "What do you think we should name our dwobbit babes?" he asked, running a rough hand over his own unborn child.

Bilbo pushed his plate back and stood from the table, stretching his muscles. "Hey," he said suddenly, pointing to Thorin's head. "You're not wearing your crown."

Thorin chuckled and stood slowly as well. "Well, that is courtesy of my dear hobbit. Or does he not remember what happened earlier?"

The hobbit smiled sheepishly at Thorin. "I said I was sorry..."

"I know," Thorin said simply. "Ready?" he asked, holding out his hand to Bilbo and the hobbit nodded, grasping the outstretched hand. "Thank you Bombur, Merlyn," he said as they passed the kitchen door.

"You are very welcome, Your Majesty and Master Baggins," Merlyn said, bowing as Thorin passed.

"Please," Thorin stopped her. "Do not bow."

"He is a very humble king," Bilbo added with a smile as he waved to Bombur in the kitchens.

"My apologies," Merlyn said and before Thorin could comment, Bilbo pulled him out of the room.

* * *

"Oh, my King," Bilbo sighed, leaning into Thorin as they sat by the fire in the royal chambers. "You are so sexy when you dress that way." Bilbo drooled at the sight of Thorin wearing only his cloak and breeches.

"It was not my fault Kili jumped in the room, and we had little on," Thorin said, leaning into the seat and pulling Bilbo closer. "Now, what are we going to name our dwobbits?"

Bilbo thought about the question for several moments before saying, "If there are two of us, then there are two babes. And if there are two, one is a boy and one is a girl. Or both are girls or both are boys. Um... You pick girls' names and I will pick the boys'."

Thorin blinked at the long explanation Bilbo said and nodded slowly. "O... kay..." He nodded again. "Um... so I name the babe if it is a girl, and you name them if it is a boy...?"

"Precisely!" Bilbo nodded excitedly. "We have approximately four more months until I am due and six more months before you are due. So, we have time to think about naming our children."

"That sort of sentence is usually followed by 'But now, I am tired'. Isn't it?" Thorin said, raising a thick eyebrow, and Bilbo nodded before yawning.

"Yes, sir," Bilbo mumbled, closing his eyes. "I would much like to fall asleep now."

"Oh, yes," Thorin began sarcastically, shifting to stand. "So in the morning, both of us will have back pains. Come, dear."

"You called me 'dear'," Bilbo awed, taking Thorin's hand, letting the dwarf pull him up. "Oh, I love you, Thorin. And I simply cannot wait for our babes to be born!"

"Neither can I," Thorin said, closing the bedroom door behind him.

* * *

**Any ideas for the next chapter cuz I'm sorta stuck :P**

**Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**FINALLY! WARNING!: CHAPTER RATED M: Dwarf/Hobbit sex**

* * *

Grumble, grumble, rumble.

Bilbo looked down, from the book he was reading, at his sleeping dwarf's seven-months-pregnant belly with a thin auburn eyebrow raised. There were times when Bilbo swore he heard Thorin's stomach growl, but those times were before the dwarf was pregnant. Now, with the babe and the dwarf's hormones, Thorin seemed to be eating more and when he didn't eat within a certain time period, the King claimed his stomach would growl painfully. Needless to say, Bilbo didn't believe him and knew his husband had been exaggerating. But what Bilbo heard was not his own stomach rumbling, it was Thorin's and the hobbit was clearly shocked at how loud it was. Closing the book with a sigh, Bilbo leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Thorin's brow before getting up from the warm bed. The hobbit stretched out his tired muscles before heading into the kitchen.

The hobbit sighed again and pulled some cheese, onions, spinach, and pepper from the cupboard, a flat pan from the drawer, and a eggs from the cooler before standing in front of the stove. With time as he put all the ingredients together into two omelettes, Bilbo heard Thorin's snoring cease and true to his prediction, Thorin walked into the kitchen five minutes later.

"Good morning," Thorin said gruffly, placing his hands on Bilbo's waist as he placing a kiss on the back of the hobbit's neck.

"Morning," Bilbo replied, smiling at the feeling of the dwarf's belly pressing into his back. "Hungry?"

"Not really," Thorin lied, stroking the underside of Bilbo's stomach.

Bilbo nodded. "So I heard," he said, reaching for a plate and placing the first omelette on it. "Loud and clear."

Thorin frowned lightly. "What are you talking about?" he asked, a light smirk to his bearded face.

"I'm talking about your stomach growling," Bilbo laughed, handing the plate to Thorin.

"I have been telling you that it growls loudly, and each time you don't believe me," the dwarf grinned, settling down at the table.

"Well now I do," Bilbo said, placing his omelette on the plate and sitting at the table. "So? How is it?" he asked after Thorin took his first bite.

"'s good," Thorin replied with his mouth full. "They're..." He looked down at the omelette, unsure if what he was thinking fit the description. "They're... fat..."

Bilbo smiled and began eating his own. "Yes," he said. "I made sure you'd get full with just one." Bilbo grinned when Thorin rolled his eyes. "What?" he asked innocently. "Last time I cooked, Bombur told me it was a scarce meal and that you had been in the kitchens for at least an hour because you were still hungry."

Thorin flushed with embarrassment and cleared his throat. "What did you put in it?" he asked before chewing another bite.

"Mhmm, cheese, egg, onions, spinach, and pepper," Bilbo answered, giggling as Thorin rolled his eyes at the green foods. "What? It's good isn't it?" he joked and Thorin nodded. "Well, then, don't complain."

"I'm not complaining," Thorin chuckled. "Oh, this is so delicious," he said, closing his eyes as he bit into cheese and onions. "I love you, Bilbo Baggins."

Bilbo winked saucily at the dwarf king. "You'd better," he laughed.

* * *

The hobbit gathered their plates once the dwarf and he were finished with their food and set them in the sink for washing. He squeaked at the unexpected pull to his waist as Thorin grabbed him. "Thorin," Bilbo whined, tossing the dishcloth to the counter as Thorin backed them up to the bedroom. "Thorin-"

Thorin's lips were hot on his as both fumbled into bed; the dwarf's thick arousal was firmly pressed against Bilbo's thigh as the hobbit fell on the bed. The dwarf king growled in anticipation as he flung off the little clothes Bilbo was wearing. The hobbit squeaked at the fast pace his pregnant husband was moving and barely had time to register that Thorin's breeches were halfway across the room, leaving the dwarf's member bare.

"Some... one's... feeling... randy... today," Bilbo panted as Thorin peppered him with kisses. Using his nimble fingers, Bilbo lifted Thorin's blue tunic from his body and smiled when Thorin groaned against the feeling. The hobbit stroked the dwarf king's arousal, his hand wrapping around its length and squeezing lightly.

"AH!" Thorin gasped, threading a patch of skin through his teeth. "Oh god!"

Bilbo giggled as Thorin bucked his hips involuntarily at the hobbit's strokes. "What is it you want, my horny dwarf?"

"N-needs," Thorin panted, desire pooling at the base of his large belly.

The hobbit grinned evilly. "On your hands and knees, then..." he said saucily.

Thorin growled and took no time in getting in that position, his hands grasping the bed sheets in front of him in anticipation. "Hobbit," he warned, his member becoming painfully tight and pressing hard against his swollen belly. Curse these hormones that made him so fucking tight. "Stop teasing!"

Bilbo smirked and positioned himself behind the dwarf's rear, his fingers tweaking the pregnant dwarf's nipples. "I'm sorry," he said haughtily. "What is it you wanted me to do?" With his other hand, Bilbo squeezed the dwarf's arse before slapping it. He smirked when Thorin let out a deep moan and his grip on the sheets tightened.

"Oh..." Thorin let out, resting his elbows on the bed so Bilbo could get a better angle. "F-fuck me..." he moaned. "Bilbo... s-six months... need... tight... ah!"

Bilbo grasped the dwarf king's member and scratched lightly at the sensitive organ; his dwarf let out a loud groan that the whole mountain could hear. "Are you sure you're up for this?" he asked, a wide smirk on his face. "I don't-"

"Hobbit!" Thorin snarled, his red cock pulsing painfully with pre-cum dribbling down Bilbo's hand. "Now!"

His husband smiled to himself and reached for the bottle of oil on the bedside table. He coated his own member with the slick liquid before lining himself with his dwarf's entrance. Before entering, Bilbo pressed his own belly against Thorin's back as he let his hands roam the King's large and taut belly. He giggled when Thorin groaned in pleasure at the feeling of his young husband's soft hands caressing their unborn child. Slowly, Bilbo pulled back and grasped Thorin's buttocks.

"Bil-"

With one swift push, Bilbo was buried inside his husband.

Thorin let out a deep roar and grasped the bed sheets as tightly as he could, his knuckles turning white and tears coming to his eyes without the preparation. His cock throbbed painfully and his hole clenched hotly around Bilbo's member. Thorin gasped at the tightness: no preparation, no fingering, no nothing, just straight and fast... and for a hobbit, Bilbo was a pretty good size, perfect to cause Thorin pain in later on...

Bilbo pulled out then pushed in again.

Thorin pushed back and groaned at the feeling. "Bilbo!" he panted, sweat dripping from his face. "Harder! Faster!" He let out an unmajestic growl as Bilbo hit something inside him. Thorin had never felt this good in ages. He saw stars as his pregnant husband pounded him. To add to his ecstasy, Thorin roared again as Bilbo wrapped his slim hand around his hard and erect member. Thorin felt the world spin as Bilbo squeezed him tightly. "UGHH!" he shouted as Bilbo pumped him. He let out a growl and a warning before he came in Bilbo's clenched hand. Everything in the horny, pregnant dwarf king's world felt wonderful and complete when Bilbo's seed flooded through him. Slowly, the hobbit's thrusts ceased and when he pulled from his lover's body, Thorin collapsed onto his side, panting heavily.

The pregnant hobbit, panting himself, retrieved a wet cloth tiredly and gently wiped down his husband, smiling at the tired look on Thorin's face. Then Bilbo tossed the cloth aside and pulled the heavy furs up over their spent bodies and kissed his snoring dwarf king. "Sleep well, my love."

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

Fili slammed Kili against the wall of his bedroom, smirking at the slight whimper he earned. He grinned as Kili snaked his arms around his neck, pulling him flush against the others body.

"I want... this..." Kili began softly, threading Fili's earlobe through his teeth. "... to last..."

The blond dwarf smirked and slowly began to unbutton his brother's leather jacket. "Well," he said, undoing each button. "I will be honored to grant your wishes."

Kili grinned and watched the dwarf slowly remove his leather jacket. "I... I am... amazed you returned... my feelings..." he stuttered, hesitantly looking into Fili's blue eyes. "I didn't think-"

Fili cut him off with a sweet but feverish kiss. "What made you think I wouldn't love you this way?" he asked, his fingers moving over Kili's cloth-covered chest. "Kili, you're everything I have ever wanted... I was just afraid you would accept _me_," Fili confessed, latching his mouth onto Kili's collarbone.

The brunette dwarf moaned at his brother's luscious lips. "Fii," he groaned, running his hands down Fili's clothes. "I love you."

"I love you too," Fili said as he trailed kisses up Kili's neck before stopping above his mouth. "Forever."

"UGHH!"

Both dwarfs froze and wheeled around to the north wall, their mouths open.

"Was that?"

"It couldn't have-"

"Aren't there meetings-"

"Then-"

"Bilbo!"

"Oh dear Mahal!" Kili screeched, pulling away from Fili and clasping his hands over his ears. "My ears are bleeding!"

Fili cringed at his uncle's voice. "Oh man," he muttered, stepping away from the north wall. "They're... they're... it..."

"I get that part!" Kili cut in.

"No..." Fili said, rolling his eyes. "Aren't they four large and long chambers next to us?"

Kili looked completely scarred for life. "I think the mood has been ruined," he said awkwardly.

Fili twirled around and grabbed Kili's shoulders. "What?!" he nearly shouted. "No, mister! I have waited five years for this day, and I'm _not_ waiting any longer!" With that, Fili crushed their lips together and violently threw their clothes off. "We are doing this now!"

The brunette smirked sexily. "I love it when you get flustered," Kili whispered into Fili's ear as they moved to the bed.

* * *

Bilbo sat in bed, stroking Thorin's tangled mane softly. Truthfully, he just had the best morning in years and nothing could ruin the moment between him and his sleeping husband. Except for that knock on the front door. Bilbo sighed heavily and stood from the bed to answer the door. He threw on his robe before he opened the wooden door. He smiled when he saw Balin standing there. "Hello, Balin," the hobbit said. "What can I do for you?"

The old dwarf nodded. "Thorin and his nephews have a council meeting," he replied.

"Oh," Bilbo said. "H-he's... I'll go get him..." The hobbit quickly dashed from the common room to the bedroom where Thorin was still snoring peacefully. Sighing softly, Bilbo headed for the washroom because honestly, Bilbo didn't have the heart to wake his dwarf up just yet. Drawing a bath for Thorin, Bilbo made sure the water temperature was just right before going back into the bedroom to get Thorin.

"Good, you're awake," he sighed happily when he saw Thorin's blue eyes watching him lovingly. "Your bath is ready."

"Bath?" Thorin asked, frowning a bit as he sat up.

"Yes," Bilbo replied with a smile on his face. "Balin said you have a council meeting today," he said, helping the naked pregnant dwarf king out of bed.

Thorin groaned. "Right. I forgot," he said, letting his husband pull him to the washroom and guide him into the water. "Will you join me?" he asked after settling into the warm water.

Bilbo nodded. "I have to go ask Balin a few questions then I will return," he said, kissing Thorin sweetly before leaving the room. The hobbit entered the common room to find Balin patiently waiting. "It'll be a while, uh, he... he just got up right now..." Bilbo said awkwardly.

Balin gave him a knowing look. "I know," he replied simply. "I was visiting my cousin at the lowest level of the mountain and I heard an earful."

Bilbo grimaced. "Sorry about that," he said. "Um, he'll be out in a few minutes."

"I have pushed back the time of the meeting, anyhow," Balin said. "He has one hour to get down there. As do Fili and Kili."

"Yes."

The white-haired dwarf nodded. "Good day, Master Baggins."

"Good day, Balin," Bilbo answered, walking the dwarf out of the chambers and closing the door behind him.

As soon as the door closed with a sure click, the hobbit bolted into the washroom, threw off his robe, and joined his dwarf in the warm, soapy water. "Hello," he said cheerfully, seeing Thorin wash his hair.

The dwarf smiled. "Hey," he said, rinsing his the soap from his hair. "Meeting, huh?" he asked.

"Yes, but Balin said he was able to push it back an hour."

"Good," Thorin said with a smirk. "Gives me time to do this," he declared, leaning over Bilbo and firmly pressing his lips against the hobbit's.

* * *

In time, all three dwarfs were able to get dressed and ready and present themselves to the council; all entered in the room last which brought out the hitch in Thorin and Kili's steps. And after seeing the glare on their king's face, no dwarf in the council room dared to laugh or comment.

* * *

**To be continued... ;) Sorry, time got away from me... college... college... freshman... yep!**

**Honestly, I got no idea what I just wrote... O.o That was my first pregnant male on pregnant male smut and I'm pretty sure I won't do it again. But who knows. :D**

**Let me know what you thought about it! Please! :) And I do promise durincest later on!**


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